Finding My Way Back To You
by BaileyMasen
Summary: Edward Leaves Bella but instead of moving on she's determaned to find him - That is until they actually do meet and it appears Edward's moved on but Bella has other plans!
1. Kidnapped

**Hey, this story was written by me (Miss Bella Cullen 18) and this is my first fan fiction so be nice and please leave a review and by the way sorry if I don't update everyday because I am currently writing a fan fiction with Twilight1997 as well, I no I promised myself I wouldn't do that but turns out I have but I will share the time out more equally!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters (a girl can wish, cant she????) except some I may have made up!**

I scrunched up into the smallest ball I could on a makeshift bed of wet leaves and dirt, Edw- HE left me here completely alone and now I am trying too keep my heart from falling apart right here, right now.

'Remember what HE said Bella, remember what He said:' Take care of yourself for Charlie, Imagine what it would do to him.' Thinking of this made me wonder what Charlie would think if he found out what had happened.

I was gazing off into a light sleep when I was awoken by somebody dragging me through the dark bushes and into the continuous darkness that lay ahead like a deep blanket.  
I was dazed and I felt weak, Even if I tried I would not be able to move a muscle let alone scream for help. Then I realised that I had nothing covering my mouth so wherever I was been taken too I figured;  
1) I would not be heard screaming or  
2) If I did scream no one would help me.

As things began to sink in I started to panic and thrash around attempting to get free of the persons hand that had hold of me hard.

"EDWARD!" I screamed, my voice began to become hysterical, as the rip in my heart got bigger until at least half of my heart had being yanked out of me replaced by emptiness where my emotions should be as I realised that he had long gone and he wouldn't be able to hear me no matter how loud I screamed and I soon realised this is what my kidnapper, as I had become to know him as, knew aswell.


	2. Surprise

Hey, this story was written by me (Miss Bella Cullen 18) and this is my first fan fiction so be nice and please leave a review and by the way sorry if I don't update everyday because I am currently writing a fan fiction with Twilight1997 as well, I no I promised myself I wouldn't do that but turns out I have but I will share the time out more equally!

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters (a girl can wish, cant she????) except some I may have made up!

"GET OFF HER NOW!" A husky voice broke into the painful silence.

"Edw- Edw-" My throat was dry as I stuttered HIS name and a little glint of hope appeared somewhere way back in my mind. Was he here?

"It's not Edward. I'm taking you to him now! He doesn't know what he's doing and I'm sorry but you're too heavy to pick up at the moment baby." A deep voice that I somewhere recognized but couldn't put my finger on it at the moment as a dark cloud hovered my mind.

"Stupid Cullen! Leaving her in that state alone. I would have thought Carlisle would have raised him better then this." His voice spat out as if trying to get them out of his mouth as fast as possible.

"I SAID GET OFF OF HER!

HE LEFT HER, WHY WOULD HER WANT YOU TO DRAG HIM BACK TO HIM FOR. HE OVBOUSOUSLY DOESN'T WANT HER. JUST LEAVE HER WITH ME AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF HER!" I forgot about the second voice that plagued the darkness. It seemed it was getting closer and closer then suddenly fell back then closer it came and it sounded this had happened quite a number of times.

I listened to what he was saying, was my kidnapper taking me to Edward? Why? Again what the other voice said he left me why would he want me back?

" Jacob I suggest you leave son, Billy will be wondering about you and you know how worried he get about you. I know what I am doing for Bella and she is safe with me, I would never hurt her." Jacob, was that the other voice, then who could he be if he knew about me and Edward and Jacob and Billy?

" Please let me walk." I wined quietly not wanting to upset the man.

"You may if you can get up and try not to stubble over." The man seemed quite nice to say he was leading me into the woods and I could now see light coming over the clouds. Jacob had seemed to have disappeared but I thought it was best he didn't get involved.

" Edward left me, so why would you take me to him?" My heart took another sharp puncture where yet again more pain seeped through.

"He made a mistake Bells, He knows that and I know that, When we get to the end of the trees I will leave and you will carry on down the trail till you meet my college John. He is nice and will take care of you were you will book yourself into a hotel and stay there until I call you. Good luck Bells, contact me soon." Just as he had said that the first ray of sunlight broke through the tree tops and near the trail entrance and shined on his face.

CHARLIE!!!!

I want reviews but if you don't give me them ill still write any way but I need ideas of what's next and if you do give me a good idea that I use I will dedicate my next chapter to you.

**Thanks  
Miss Bella Cullen18  
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**


	3. Wrong End

Hey I updated! Thanks to Sharpielime2 and 1pepsi1obbsessed for reviewing my first two chapters of Finding My Way Back To You!

**You are in for a treat as I have now uploaded 3 chapters in just one day, I might stop uploading so many chapters a day and It will only be 1 or 2 chapters a day, I hope that's enough but I am quite consistent!**

As I stumbled near the exit on the trail where Charlie had pointed for me to follow I heard several voices from around me.  
I went dizzy as I caught a glimpse of glitter sparkling in front of me so fast at only a speed a vampire could go. As my mind worked over thinking subconsciously that he might of never left and he just wanted me to think of him as gone something struck me hard on my head and the next thing I knew the ground was coming ever closing, but it didn't hurt when I fell. I couldn't feel anything anymore.

EPOV

I had run as far as Canada until I looked back. I could somehow still smell her scent everywhere, lingering on my clothes and that's when I broke down into violent dry sobs racking my strong frame until I eventually let the movements drag me down where I laid down into a small ball so I could wrap my clothing further round me

Cloaking myself with her scent.

I don't know how long I had stayed there for but when I looked up the sky was beginning to brighten as the first rays of sunshine crept out of the clouds shining directly on me as my skin glistened like diamonds, as Bella had once described it as. My head felt like I had just had my head kicked in, it must have be pretty hard for it too hurt me like this, Fire ripped its way inside burning all my mental images of Bella and a loud ringing sound echoed in my ears.  
I searched everywhere and there was nothing that I could see or smell that made that sort of noise.

Automatically I rose into a defensive crouch, I had no idea what was happening but I felt pain and anger flush through me as images of Bella lying on the forest floor with a horrified look on her face raced around my head.

BPOV

As I aroused a thick mist fogged in my mind. Who would do this to me?

Why did I deserve this? Questions I was unable to ask ran through my head as the outside world spun and twisted and turned until I saw Edward crouched defensively in front of me.

I don't know what my face would have looked like but I was scared for some reason and then I found out why.

EPOV

I was still crouched on the ground when a growl suddenly erupted from my chest as I caught a glimpse of fiery red hair flash in the images when all of a sudden them lunge at Bella.

"NO!" I screamed out loud in pain, MY Bella is being hurt and I'm not even there to protect her.

BPOV

I saw Edwards confused look and I shook my head, I had to be dreaming this – this can't be happening.  
I saw a sea of familiar way, tangled fiery red hair lunge towards me as I curled up.

"NO!" I heard Edwards voice scream as if he was standing right next to me, the pain in it made me cry out loud and my attacker seemed to laugh at this as I felt sharp daggers plunge into the flesh on my neck as an excruciating pain travelled from my neck to my toes then hit the final target, my heart.

My head spun into blackness as everything went silent and images of the past year flickered through my mind like a movie, me and Edward in the meadow, me and Alice at her 'slumber party', me and Edward the first day we met then the images kept becoming more recent and stinging each a little bit more then the rest, up until the final picture of him as he left me. Then there was peace.

EPOV

I fell to my knees as I saw Bella pouring with blood, but I didn't want to drink it or lap it up like a thirsty dog, in fact I didn't feel anything but pain and regret.  
I could do no more here; I wasn't even safe inside my head anymore!  
I had to go somewhere far away, somewhere I could find distractions!

APOV (Alice)

"NO" I screamed as my vision ended.

Jasper grabbed hold of me as I was rocking back and forth.

"I-I-I had a vision about Bella and she was in the forest when… VICTORIA came and bit her and then it stopped there that was it about Bella but then I had one about Edward and he felt the pain but they saw each other but they weren't together, I'm confused but Edward is leaving to go find a 'Distraction' and then that was it from him to I can no longer find either of their futures." I whimpered not being able to make any sense myself of the current situation.


	4. Decisions

Hey guys thank you for reviewing even if I only have got four that's good for me because I didn't think I would even get one so that was a nice little surprise, but don't give up clicking that button, I still have plenty in store for Edward and Bella and even though I am team Edward and Bella I will put in some Jacob as well for those who like him. 

**APOV **

**I collapsed into Jasper's arms.**

"**Nothing" I whispered into Jasper's cotton jumper.**

"**It's Ok Al, we'll go find them and sort this out." He tried reassuring me lifting my chin up so he could see into my eyes, he already knew what I felt as I gazed into his.**

**JPOV **

**Alice was giving off some depressing waves:Desperation, Exhaustion, Sadness, Grieving?. She thought her best friend and her brother could be dead!?**

"**Alice, honey you can't give up on them, their not dead I can tell their not dead." I tried smoothing her hair down her emotions going crazy, one minute there was a glint of hope the next it had been torn down.**

"Alice I can't bear to see you hurting this much, there's got to be something I can do for you, to help you." I grabbed her hand, emotions swarmed me and I felt a great rush of sadness enter my body.

How could anyone hurt this much, all I wanted was to help her but I didn't know how to!

APOV 

I knew I was hurting him more then he let on but the truth was I just couldn't help it, something had happened to them and for the first time I didn't know, it made me anxious when I couldn't see anything, especially with Bella involved.

Jasper grabbed my hand but winced slightly when he felt my pang of pain, I didn't want to hurt him this much I had to get away from here, but where could I possibly go?

BPOV

Fire ripped its way inside me, burning the rip in my all ready dead heart tearing the empty hole further apart letting reality seep in through the cracks racking my whole body. The burning sensation carried on for a long time but I already had an idea what was it was all to familiar.

I was changing, and to think he left to stop me from turning into one of them. I wanted to cry but I knew I couldn't until tears streamed down my face leaving red marks as reminders, what I thought I couldn't cry, I'm a vampire aren't I? 

When the pain subsided a little I found I could move a little a time.

With my eyes still shut tightly I sprung into the most common defensive crouch and for the first time sniffed the air and took in a deep breath. My eyes shot open. 

That smelled repulsive yet there was another very significant scent lingering in the air a sweet and flowery scent - Edwa - I took a much unneeded breath and collapsed on the floor recoiling from the pain at even the slightest thought of his name. Now I realised what he meant when he said he would love me more then I would know, if this is breaking me then it should be killing him. I recoiled even more at that as I let out loud sobs arching my body to catch my breathe - how could I even think like that he didn't want me and all the times he said he loved me he was lying. 

Even though I got what I wanted I was not content I was being what HE might say as greedy - him with me would make my new life perfect.

But he would never be with me again! I broke down again into even more sobs I stayed like this for just over 2 days. 

EPOV

"Distraction, I need a distraction." I muttered to myself. I could go to Tanya's Clan in south America - but that might be to close but I'll go any way just until I find a different place. 

My mind was set I would be in south America in about 5 hours if I set off now running my fastest.

I set off at a steady vampire pace. 

As I ran images of Bella flashed through my mind, she was thinking of me but I couldn't read her thoughts, her eyes gave her away. 

Pain reeled through my body, stabbing at several different lifeless organs. 

I recoiled in pain and curled up in the tightest ball I could get into. 

What was wrong with me?Was it possible that if Bella felt pain I would too?

No It can't be - I've got to go back NOW! 


	5. It's All Wrong

**thank you I got 6 reviews so far and I'm very proud of myself. **

**This chapter is told in Bella's perspective and the next will be in Edwards.**

**Hope you like it.**

BPOV

When the pain had slightly subsided I smelled a sweet scent - not like HIS but like sweet cinema popcorn, I followed it instinctively.

I climbed easily through the greenery until I felt a slippery rock and down I went, it didn't hurt of course but I was saddened I hadn't lost my clumsiness.

As I made my way to a small clearing (I later found out it was a few miles away from our meadow) I saw a huddled figure in the centre. I carefully walked towards the figure curious about who it was that was now letting out loud sobs.

"Hello?" I asked it like a question so the answer could be answered as permission, I got this habit off HIM.

There was a silence until the figure turned round, his eyes gazed into mine."Bella, YOUR ALIVE!" Jacob pointed at me, looking amazed and overjoyed, he scooped me into a bear hug.

"But how can you be Bella, I just saw what happened back there with that _Vampire _but even if it's not actually Bella I want you to know that the one who attacked you didn't get away, Sam and the others got her before she made it out of the state! How could this be happening, its impos…" He finished looking in my eyes, I could see my reflection back in his, my eyes glowed a honey golden mixture.

"My eyes." I interrupted him, "Their different, they should be red, I've only just turned and their already golden, it took HIS decades for this colour to appear in his iris's."

"That's because your special. Are you actually one of them because you smell completely different! Almost a nice smell!" He turned me round looking at my pale skin and new eyes.

"I wonder if I have a gift, that would make me special." I wondered what to start with and I already knew that I didn't have mind reading because I couldn't read Jacob's mind and so I tried seeing the future….

NOTHING then I had a memory come about how I used to look in the mirror while Alice was playing another game of Bella Barbie, I remembered the outfit and hairstyle and everything I had on as a sharp pain pushed into my heart. I missed her so much.

" OMG Bella, what happened one minute you were wearing your normal clothes, now look at you!" I looked down at myself, I was done up like I had been that day. WOW that was a bit weird. I tried again and again to make sure and I ended up in a white dress I once wore for a beach trip with Alice on one of the Cullen's many private beaches.

"Bella, your beautiful!" Jacob smiled and gently took my hand, me been stupid, I let him and then I realised by doing this sent the wrong message, it wasn't just a random gesture it was a confirmation of what happened next.

He gently lifted up my chin and looked into my eyes, inside I shivered inside as I remembered how HE used to do that to me, he came closer to my face a small grin spreading across his face…

I saw two dark golden eyes stare at me from the far off distance, I heard HIS unneeded breathes as he watched me… and Jacob, I could only imagine what it looked like to HIM.

As I stared directly into HIS eyes I suddenly got a rush and all of Jacob's thoughts came rushing to me.

_I'm so close, it's unbelievable!_

_There's only one thing ruining the best moment of my life and that's because I can smell HIM from all the way across the field._

I pulled back realising just how close he was.

Then I did the only thing I could do…

"Sorry Jake." I mumbled

"Forgive me!" I looked at him with very sorry eyes.

Then I ran. I was so close.

" EDWARD!" I screamed my loudest, I knew he could hear me!


	6. RUN!

**I decided I should Put up the two chapters of BPOV and EPOV on the same day! **

**So you wouldn't get confused of what happened in the last chapter.**

**As I am writing this (Another Now and Nobody's home blaring in my ears) I have 7 reviews and I am literally amazed because I thought my story was rubbish! Wow I've just checked in fact I have 10 reviews, even more amazed!**

EPOV

I ran as fast as I could back to forks, by the time I got there a few miles away from our meadow sat Jacob and BELLA!

I had the urge to push her out of the way of him.

I looked closer at the scene, he was holding her hand and tilted her chin up while looking into her eyes, I knew what was going to happen and it would probably kill me.

_Look Bloodsucker look at me with YOUR BELLA, she's with me! _

_And everything is perfect and how it should be since you left her! _

He screamed his thoughts to me.

I felt sharp pain push into my heart.

As I was about to pounce on the mongrel I must have stepped to far forward because Bella's head snapped up as soon as I did, she can't see me, Can she?Her eyes bored into mine, her eyes raised wide. I couldn't figure out her emotion.

_I'm so close, it's unbelievable!_

_There's only one thing that's ruining the best moment of my life and that's because I can smell HIM from all the way across the field._

I growled at the thoughts of him even touching Bella, how could she let him go this far!?

She got up then and mumbled a sorry and 'forgive' me to Jacob. What was she doing?

My answer was : running towards me at a full vampire pace. Before I knew what I was doing I broke into a run, I already ruined her life once before, how could I do it again?

"EDWARD" she screamed, knowing I could hear her even if she whispered.

I couldn't stop but I didn't even know what I was doing all I knew I had to do was RUN and then the stabbing pain started again, more shaper this time until it felt like several big chunks were torn from my cold, dead heart.

I felt sick. How could I not stop?I forgot everything and let my body take over and all I could do was RUN!


	7. Turning Point

**Hi I am surprised that I have 12 reviews all ready after 5 chapters, I know that's not good for some people, but for me I think it is because I didn't think anyone would want to read my story at all so this is good news for me.**

**Also I am going out tomorrow, all day so I will try put as many chapters on as I can for tonight!**

BPOV

I got a sick feeling in my stomach as I realised he was running away from me.

It was true he didn't want me.

But I had to keep fighting, my body said no but my heart and brain were internally kicking my bones and organs out of place causing me to freeze and suddenly so did Edward.

I could feel my eyes glow red with anger and so did Edward's.

I took one step forward. So did Edward.

It carried on like this until we were in front of each other, almost close enough to touch.

"I'm so sorry." Edward broke the silence.

"For what?Leaving me, almost killing me and then running from me?" Where was this coming from, I'm not normally like this towards anyone let alone Edward. I was just so angry.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through and now this, I mean look at you!" He pulled at a strand of hair and tucked it behind my ear.

"Look, Edward I can't talk about it here, I need time to think about it, if you want to talk to me then meet me in our meadow at midnight." I took a look at Edward, he gave a slight nod and I ran off to do some of my own thinking before confronting him later.


	8. Turning Point Part 2

**Since I might not be able to update tomorrow I have wrote two chapters tonight and this chapter is going to be called Turning Point - Part 2! Keep Reviewing I want to know what I can improve and what you think.**

EPOV

I found myself frozen on the spot.

I saw Bella her eyes glowing red with anger and I could feel mine replicate that anger.

She took a steady step forward and so did I, we carried on taking one step each until I yearned to reach out and touch her, tell her I made a mistake.

After a few silent moments I knew I had to say something first and I was near sweating (or whatever vampires do) I was so nervous.

All that came out from my long prepared speech was:"I'm so sorry."

"For what?Leaving me, almost killing me and then running from me?" Where was this coming from, she never used to speak to me like this, I guess I did deserve this, I was just a bit shocked about how it came out.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through and now this, I mean look at you!" I pulled at a strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. She was so beautiful.

"Look, Edward I can't talk about it here, I need time to think about it, if you want to talk to me then meet me in our meadow at midnight." She glanced at me and I gave a slight nod, I knew she had acknowledged this. Then she was gone, knowing Bella probably to think and that's exactly what I needed to do as well.

I found myself headed back to the old house, in Forks, I'm glad Esme had decided to keep it just in case.

I reached the door and breathed in a deep breathe as I opened the door.

I don't know what I was expecting to see but it defiantly wasn't TANYA!


	9. Tanya

**Guys you don't know how sorry I am that I haven't been updating recently but I have been so busy during the summer lately so I have had no time at all the write up the chapters but I'll try my hardest to get several chapters up in the next couple of days!Love you MissBellaCullenoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**EPOV**

" Tanya, What are you doing here?"

" Alice told me I'd find you here." Alice, That stupid Pixie the last thing I needed now was Tanya here, trying to flirt with me at every chance she got.

"Tanya now is not a very good time for me." That was the nicest possible way to tell her to leave me alone.

_I'll make that all go away if you like. _Tanya pushed her self a little closer to me.

"Edward, I've missed you, you haven't visited in so long. Carlisle mentioned something about a _human._" She spat out the word in disgust.

"Yes, There is a human, she is called Bella." Inside my heart ached for her, knowing I would see her later tonight made me feel a little better. We had to talk.

"And when do I get to meet her?" Tanya didn't seem to bothered.

"I'm going to meet her in a little while and then you can meet her." Hopefully she would forgive me when I had explained everything fully to her.

"Well I hope it's not going to be too soon, I've only just got here." Again she pushed herself closer to me.

"Well Tanya if you wouldn't mind I'll be going to my room now, I'll see you later." I escaped to the comfort of my room just before hearing _Your not getting away that easily._

As I sat there on my sofa all I could think about was Bella, Bella when I first met her, Bella in my room, Bella in the kitchen, Bella on my back while I climb trees. Everywhere there was Bella. As I zoned out I hadn't noticed Tanya enter my room and quietly sit down next to me, I wanted to tell her to go away and that I needed time to think but Carlisle brought me up well and I don't want that ruined for him.

_Just do it Tanya, he's in pain, he needs you right now and he can't say anything about it can he?_

I barely heard what was said before a set of lips crushed into mine. I just sat there bewildered. How could she do this to me? Tanya's arms locked around my neck as her kiss grew more impatient that I was not responding.

_Come on, when I imagine it, it was nothing like this you always gave something back._

I decided to show her so that she would get off me faster so I started responding as her arms tightened round me I knew I had done something very wrong.


	10. Shocked

**Again I'm so sorry for the delay! I've been making you tube video's a lot this past few weeks to find them search SORRY! 90 DAYS TO GO TILL NEW MOON ! !312 DAYS TO GO TILL ECLIPSE ! ! !**

**JPOV (Jacob)**

I patrolled the area best I could, now the bloodsuckers are back we had to stay to our side of the line. 

Why couldn't they just leave Bella alone, they've already put her through more then a human could go through, including near death experiences.

Why does Bella want to talk to _him _for, I already knew the outcome of this situation where she would go back to him and hurt herself more, I wasn't taking that! 

Bella needed so much better, he didn't know how to be human, he lost that side over a century ago, where I am still partly human, I mean at least I have a pulse and a beating heart.

It was midnight when I got bored patrolling and decided to ditch, I knew I would get into trouble but I didn't care I needed to talk to Bella, about this whole situation. She has to listen to me.

I first looked for her near the house, she wasn't there.I checked the woods as well, but she wasn't there.I checked all of La Push also, but she wasn't there.

Then it hit me where she would be, The Meadow.

Every time Bella has thinking to do she always comes to The Meadow or she normally says to me; " I'm going to our meadow…" and I knew she meant her and _his _meadow.'_After every thing_' I thought to myself.

I heard light sobs coming from a opening in the I grew closer I heard one voice muttering things loud enough for me to hear.

"NO GOOD STUPID, SHINY VOVLO OWNING VAMPIRE!" Yelled the voice, I wanted to go see what was happening until a great boulder smashed into the floor in front of me, maybe not I decided stepping backwards, if this was a vampire, which I'm pretty sure it is, they wouldn't be able to smell me from here.

I continued to listen, I was bought up by being taught eavesdropping was wrong and an invasion of privacy but I couldn't help them since they were shouting so loud. Plus I couldn't help this person unless I knew why they were so angry. But I had a pretty good feeling who it was and who they were referring to. 

" I'M STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK HE WOULD COME AND TALK TO ME, I MUST BE MAD AND WHY DID I EVEN AGREE TO THIS! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BUT I CAN'T HELP MY STUPID HEART IS HIS. I HATE IT SO MUCH!" Another boulder crashed down in front of the opening. 

Now I defiantly knew who it was.I ran forward as fast as I could.

" BELLA!" I shouted, although I knew she could hear me.

"Jacob?" Bella's questioning voice came from a nearby patch of rather long grass. 

"What has that _thing _done to you!" She was curled up in a ball so tightly her fingernails leaving imprints on her shoulders. Rocking back and forth, back and forth.

" I told him to meet me here to talk, I knew he would never come! I'm so stupid he left me why did I have to drag him back!" She wailed tightening her little cocoon like shell around her.

"Bella I can't stand to see you in this much pain, I'm going to find him and I'll drag him back if I have to." I couldn't believe I was going to do this but if Bella was going to be happy again, I would do anything to have a smile on her face.

"Really?" Really she questioned, sitting upright, looking deep into my eyes to find I was telling the truth then her eyes lit up with so much happiness it was hard to believe I saw her depressed just three minutes ago.

"Really. But I better get going now. I Promise I will come back." I ruffled her hair a bit as I stood up and took of into the dark forest.

The first place I was going to try was his house, which I saw Bella drive to one time, so I ran all the way up the hidden, winding path till I got to this big white mansion. It had plenty of windows._'And Bella calls this a house' _I snorted at the thought.

I didn't want to knock on the door so I went round the back of the house.

'_Big enough garden to.' _

I peered through one of the windows, it most of being the lounge.

I looked all round, no one was here.

I was about to go round the front and knock when I saw movement coming from behind the lounge, through quite large doorway there was the kitchen and that's when I saw it:Edward had his arms around another girl, she was tall and blonde, she looked like Rosalie a little, but I could tell it wasn't her. The girl had her arms around him and then they started kissing, she then took hold of his arm and pulled him upstairs and my vision was gone!_'HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO BELLA! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO TELL HER!'_

I screamed the thought in my head.

I made my way to The Meadow, to tell her the news that would probably damage her beyond repair.

"_How could you!?' _was my final thought as I walked into the opening.

**Liked it? Loved it?Hated it?Could be improved?I need reviews so I know what you want before I start writing anything else.I want to be able to get 25 reviews - so get reviewing, even if you've reviewed before, review again!**

**Thanks**

**MissBellaCullen18 **

**XOXO**


	11. Escape

**I know I said I wanted 25 reviews but I have decided to let that pass because most of the comments I have gotten is about how much people want to read on, so for the few that have reviewed (and I appreciate every single comment) Thank you so much I love them all and they help me build up my story.**

**Go check out my you tube channel:MissBaileyCullen **

**87 Days to go till New Moon !! **

**310Days till Eclipse !!**

**Thanks, Love you 18 x ~ o ~ x ~ o ~ x ~ o ~ x ~ o**

**BPOV **

I heard Jacob enter the meadow clearing.

I knew automatically _he _wasn't with him, I gripped my sides, digging my nails in so tight if I had of still been human I would have probably punctured my own skin.

I dropped on the floor as a pair of burning hands wrapped round me cradling me in his chest, like _he _did when I had bad nightmares as a human (and that was another thing, my human memories, all of them were still intact, none were foggy at all.) instantly I burst out into dry sobs that violently racked my body.

Poor Jacob was holding me tight but still I shook and shook I couldn't take it anymore so I broke free of his grasp as softly but firmly as I could and then again I ran and that was the only thing I knew how to do properly, I was useless as a human let alone an immortal vampire - WHAT WAS I THINKING!?

As I ran I didn't know where I was going at all, all I knew was I had to get out of here.

I only came out of my trance like state when I saw a sign for Chicago a few miles away._Great _I thought to myself _just another thing to remind me of him. _EVERYWHERE I went _he _was there, I just couldn't take it any longer, I just wanted my life to end and that's when I curled up in a ball in a guttering a few blocks away from a main city shadowed by darkness as I shook and my body ripped, burned and twisted my insides until I could only sit there, like a statue.

**I know very short chapter but I wrote this at 1:40 am here and I was tired, I promise I will update later and this time there is a lot more action on the way, including the Cullen's, I have also (although I am on Team Edward) thought about Team Jacob, don't worry his time is yet to come! MissBellaCullen18 x ~ o ~ x ~ o**


	12. The Conroy's

**Hi I am so sorry I haven't updated in forever I'm back to school which is going to mean I got a lot more to do e.g. homework/ fan fiction/ horse riding/ friends basically my whole life as well so I'm going to put school first - sadly ****L but I will update whenever I can, mainly on weekends but also whenever during the week.**

**Good news though - were going to be working on Wuthering heights, a book I have always loved and that should give me : I don't own Twilight or any of the characters sadly L I don't even own the life-saving Conroy's which belong to my good friend Twilight1997 which she let me use. **

**B. p. o .v**

I was vaguely aware I was being carried by strong arms, at first I panicked but my body couldn't move it, was still in shock, _thanks the one time I need you, you won't work. _I thought to myself.

"Is she awake yet?" Asked a female voice from my right."Of course she's awake, vampires can't sleep." Answered a male voice from above me, I figured he was the one carrying me.

"But she's in shock right?" This woman was defiantly a questioner.

"Yes, whoever did this to her and left her there must be one of the worse monsters, I mean who would leave a poor girl like this is the guttering." Then memories came flooding back when Edward _Left _me, Victoria coming towards me, Jacob returning with no Edward and one of the hardest of all having to leave Charlie behind - by now he would of heard I didn't go with his friend and that I was probably missing in the woods somewhere. I flinched as the memories played like a movie in my head over and over again until I saw the daylight coming through my eyes.

"I think she's coming out of it now." Stated the male voice.

My first reaction was to jump up, and crouch to my defensive position. I knew they had helped me but I didn't know where I was or anything, so I slowly turned my self around backing up to a wall so no one could sneak behind me. I recognised the room, it was big and looked like they knocked through more rooms to get it this way, it was bright and white, there was a plasma tv stuck to the wall surrounded by ps3's, x box's, Nintendo's and Wii. There was a big glass table in the middle of the room with flowers in a vase placed neatly in the exact centre point while beige sofa's outlined the room.

"Who are you?" I asked after a few minutes of checking my surroundings.

"It's Ok Dear, My Name Is Emily, Were here to help you. We found you in a guttering in Chicago, if you don't mind me asking what were you doing there, It looks like you've only just been created?" A motherly person stepped forward, with the same bouncy, caramel locks as Esme did, If I didn't know Esme so well I would have thought that this woman was her.

" Mm… Ok I'll start from the beginning…." so I told them my story of the Cullen's and how I knew about Vampires before when I was human. At that bit they all looked shocked and wondered if the Volutori would have done anything if they knew I knew about their world. After my story I had ended up in a heap on the floor with my body racking with violent sobs - I was beginning to get used to this now and the whole idea if I ever thought about _them _then I would end up like this and the I would never have a whole me because _he _took half of me away with him including most of my heart.

" Is She awake?" Asked a pixie liked girl, like Alice she was Bubbly and lively and her enthusiasm was contagious, but not for me today it wouldn't help, I took one look at her which reminded me of my Best Friend I would never see again and that's when my sobs grew louder.

"Sorry" she muttered as she practically ran out the room.

I felt so horrible, she was probably thinking I didn't like her.

Then Es- I mean Emily walked in." Oh Bella, Darling you look exhausted would you like to go to our guest room and just have a little alone time, I know its been a very tiring day for you." "Ok, Thank you Es-Emily." I muttered as she guiding me along a long landing till we got to the last door."Here you are honey." and that she left.

I looked at the room, exactly like _his, _completely set out and everything. I slumped to the floor and locked the door.

I sat there rocking backward and forth thinking of the past year or so and what was my life then and now.

Slowly I started humming until I was singing softly.

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,She felt it I couldn't help her,I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

_wrong, what's wrong now?Too many, too many 't know where she belongs, where she wants to go home, but nobody's 's where she lies, broken no place to go, no place to go, to dry her inside._

_Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons 've been rejected, and now you can't find what you've left strong, be strong many, too many 't know where she belongs, where she wants to go home, but nobody's 's where she lies, broken no place to go, no place to go, to dry her inside._

_Her feelings she dreams she can't 's losing her 's fallen can't find her 's losing her 's falling from 's all over the place!Yeah!! (yeah)_

_She wants to go home, but nobody's 's where she lies, broken no place to go, no place to go, to dry her inside._

_lost inside, lost inside. oh oh She's lost inside, lost inside. oh oh Ohhh..._

It was a song I heard once on the radio but I never associated it with me - until now.

I knew what I had to do then, I had to find _Him, Them. _I had to explain I was one of them now, so he didn't have to worry about killing me or anything like that anymore even if he doesn't love me I would tell him how I felt and if he doesn't want me then I'll leave but I have to go find _him! _


	13. 150 Years Later

**Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry a thousand times because I haven't been able to update in absolutely ages and I'm so Sorry! **

**Last Thursday I started school after the Holidays, I only went to school for two days and I know what you think, I can update at the weekend but I still had too get a few bits and it was altogether a busy weekend so now it's Monday I am going to update as much as I can, this story is far from so this Chapter is from Edwards Point Of View and it's 150 years after he left Bella.**

**Go check out my you tube channel:MissBaileyCullen **

**74 Days to go till New Moon !! **

**297 Days till Eclipse !!**

**Thanks, Love you 18 x ~ o ~ x ~ o ~ x ~ o ~ x ~ o**

**EPOV**

It's been 150 years since I left Bella and a few hours after that we left Forks for good, or so we thought, for 150 years we haven't been a whole family as Rosalie and Emmett got sick of my mood so they moved out, they've always stayed close but it's not enough, Alice and Jasper have also moved out and we only join together on rare occasions, all in all apart from school I've only seen us all as a full family 8 times in 150 years, just 8 times.

I, myself moved out at one point and lived by myself for two years before Esme begged me to go back.

For a year after our departure I couldn't bear to be around my anyone, especially my family, for the first few days I got mean and altogether vulgar thoughts directed towards me until they realised it was hard for me, probably harder to leave my one true love.

Every now and then I get a few snipes but its only to be expected since I took, their best friend and my happiness away.

A few times I tried going to the Volutori but every time something always stopped me, either Alice saw it coming or the Volutori said no but the most recent time made be rethink ever going to them again. It was all 148 years ago:

**~~~~ Flashback ~~~~**

_I was all ready to leave as I walked casually to the door._

"_Going for a walk!" I walked outside, breaking into a slow human-paced jog when Alice appeared in front of me._

"_Don't do this Edward, you know how much it will hurt not only Esme but the whole family." Alice pleaded with me._

"_I can't live like this anymore and the Volutori will defiantly approve now." I flashed her a little vision of my plan, which I had been very careful to not decide._

"_Edward, you can't, just go back if you miss her this much. Just go back." I chuckled at this, a empty, dry chuckle, not like my ones before - . I couldn't go back for many reasons. I few which I explained to Alice:"Alice, my dear sister, do you really not see it's an impossibility to go back, for many reasons:1) I promised her 2) I don't want to see her, if she's moved on._

_3) If I go back I won't be able to leave again." and to my surprise Alice moved out the way, I tried to read what she was thinking but she kept quiet just remembering memories of me and Bella being happy._

"_Go on then." I cautiously stepped round her."I'll miss you Alice, Tell the others I'm sorry." I started Vampire speed jogging till I got till the end of the street._

"_Edward." I stopped and turned round._

"_If you can't stay for me, stay for Bella - " _

_A sudden wave and rage washed over me._

"_Don't bring Bella into this!" I shouted._

"_Well think of her then, if she found out - " _

"_She won't!" I interrupted:_

"_But if she did…" Alice continued " …It would kill her too. Just imagine her finding out." _

**~~~~ Flashback ~~~~**

I couldn't bare the thought of Bella's lifeless body in my arms so I stayed.

But about 10 years ago I was in Biology, (ironic really) in a school in Phoenix (which is double ironic) when a new student joined the class and got put right next to me, she started talking to me about what her name was and where she was from and I wasn't really listening until she said her name was Isabella Swansea, it made my head snap up and then she blushed, just like Bella used to.

"Hello, My name is Edward Cullen, Nice to meet you, you must be Bella?" _I prefer Izzy but OMG his eyes are amazing, he can call me Bella._

"Yes, I'm Bella." she answered nervously.

After a few weeks I asked her if she wanted to see a movie and she said yes and just like Bella I had to make sure everyday she didn't trip over anything.

About five years ago I changed her into a Vampire and now where going back to Forks before were due to get married, I know she's not Bella but MY Bella is gone now and I'm happier now.

The only thing I'm dreading is going back to Forks, I mention MY Bella a lot but I never told the other Bella about how I felt or anything, but I'm dreading the fact I will see her grave, that will officially finish me off and kill me inside and it was Alice's stupid idea to have the wedding there, what did she think she was doing -a favour?

Far from it.**Just wanted to say sorry again to Everlastingpixie1997 - she knows what I mean so I'm so Sorry! xxxx**


	14. 150 Years Later Part 2

**Ok so I've had A LOT of homework since I'm in year 9 and I am Officially booked up, but I gave you three Chapters yesterday and I'm aiming for 2 today - possibly 3 but I'm not sure yet!**

**Ok I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE NEW MOON IS OFFICIALLY EXCATLY 2 MONTHS AWAY TODAY WHICH IS SO COOL AND AMAZING AND I CAN'T WAIT! **

**SO this chapter is 150 years later in Bella's point of view and is going to be quite short because I know you guys just want to get to the reunion bit which will be amazing!**

**Its worth the wait I swear!**

**Search my Youtube account -MissBaileyCullen Cheekymonkey248 - joint account. **

**Miss Bella Cullen18 **

**OXOX **

**BPOV**

It's been 150 years since I've been whole, in fact since I've been happy.

I've been searching for Edward but I've had no luck, not even the Volutori knew where they for 150 years I've been on my own, tracking the Cullen's, although I bump into the Conroy's every now and again. They even asked me to join their coven but I declined and said I already had one, I just had to find them first.

I also found out I also have not only 1 power but 2, well in the second power I have a lot more.

1) Is my shield, that's why Edward couldn't read my mind.

2) With just one touch, I can copy people's powers.

Some of my many powers are;

Jane's mind torturing power - which I have never used.

Aro's Power to read all your thoughts ever in just one touch.

Changing Appearances and much more.

I learned a few days after I was turned, Charlie put in a missing report but after his death, 4 years later, I was filed under dead. I went to Charlie's funeral, just to say goodbye, then I didn't realise I could change my appearance so stayed back in the shadows where nobody noticed me.

Today I decided to look in the one place I haven't checked yet, the one place I haven't been in 150 years,

Forks.

**Hope you enjoyed it, in the next chapter will be the reunion and there will only be 2 chapters today as the reunion one is long!**

**Thanks **

**Miss Bella Cullen18 **

**OXOXOXOXOXOX**

**REVIEW LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT MORE OR LESS OF AND WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE!**


	15. First Sight

**I know about two days ago I Said I would put up two chapters, but I'm so sorry, I was busy with homework after I posted up my last chapter and this chapter is pretty long to write so I needed a day or so to complete this as I couldn't rush It Because It would have ruined the experience! so I know I said this is meant to be the reunion but if you read this chapter you will agree it's not a good reunion so I renamed it First Sight.**

**Search Me on YoutubeMissBaileyCullen * Love Everlastingpixie1997 - Inspired me to come on Fan fiction and write my own stories* Miss Bella Cullen18 ****EPOV**

We Arrived at 6am, Nothing had changed, but in someway everything had. I walked through the greenery till I saw a very familiar white house looming in front of me. I was faster then the others so I got there faster, I sprinted vampire speed to close the space between me and the house till I stood on the porch. I stood still and silent until I heard Alice's thoughts._Do it Edward, Trust Yourself. Were only a few miles away so we will be there very soon._

And for once, I listened, I trusted myself and slowly I turned the handle and pushed the door open the tiniest crack, so felt nothing. Yet. So I opened it again, still nothing. Maybe time had healed me as well. Although I had to test it out so I took a much unneeded breathe and held it as I edged myself through the crack in the door and spun round to face my old living room - if you could call it that-.

It all looked the same since…Then I slipped up, I had let myself remember. Remember her. Remember the pain I had put her through. I was so lost in my thoughts I thought I could smell her scent. Ah it smelled sweet, like flowers - so delicious. So real.

Then I realised it was real was real - I wasn't just imaging it after all!

But Why Would She Be Here?

The scent smelt far from recent but I could tell she had been the only one here so it was quite strong to say it was so old as I could quite clearly smell it led upstairs, so I followed it upstairs, across the landing and to my room.

Why did she go to my room?The scent continued into my en-suite bathroom, my wardrobe, my shelves, my couch, even my CD's smelled of her and then the scent was smothered all over my bed. Had she been sleeping in there?Her scent lingered everywhere, my duvet, my pillows, even some of my shirts I'd left neat and tidy now laid crumpled on the floor with her sent blanketing them.

The scent stopped by my window making it impossible to tell which direction she had gone.I checked every room in the house - nothing - none of her scent was there. She had only been in my room and I had a good feeling why.

She had come to look for me - 150 years ago MY Bella had come to look for me, half of me was overjoyed that she came and half of me regretted leaving her.I thought about her and how she would of looked, what she would have worn and felt like as she came through the empty house. After thinking that, I couldn't hold myself together any longer as dry sobs racked through my body sending my body into rolls of regret and remorse as I slid my back down the side of my bedroom door.

**BPOV **

I ran as fast as I could, flinging myself forward through the damp trees.

I did it! I was officially in Forks, my final destination to find _him, _if I didn't find _him _I had decided to go to the Volutori and either Join them or ask them to return a favour or even taking the Conroy's up on their offer to become part of their family.

I had followed the freeway all the way up to my old house, it was 7pm and I thought I had a better hunt before I went to the place that decided my my hunt though I had to visit my old house as I would be residing there for a few weeks until I am clear what I am going to do in the rest of my existence - or whatever I had left of it.

As I walked through the front door - nothing had changed at all, all by a note that was pinned to my old notice board that hung next to the fridge addressed to me?! _Bella,I know you'll probably revisit here, so I kept everything the way you left your room, I didn't touch a new number is 555-3155._

_Jacob P.S You know where to find me.X~ x~ x ~ x _

'OMG' I thought to myself. Jacob. Jacob is still alive and he's been here. But I couldn't smell him so it must have been a while ago he left that note, although I still had a feeling he was still here, In forks, In La Push, somewhere. Still, I smiled and neatly folded up the note and tucked it in my pocket.I made my way upstairs, to my room. Nothing had changed, 'Good Old Charlie'. I thought.

I walked into my room and saw everything just how I left it - before I changed. Clothes on the floor, laundry basket over- flowing, bed unmade and unfinished homework on the desk. Well Jacob could have least tidied up a little bit but never mind. I looked at the chair, _his _chair. I looked at it, just it's smell reminded me of _him._

I lowered myself down into the seat and I suddenly felt closer to him and this strangely brought me comfort instead of pain and loss.

**EPOV**

I sat there dry sobbing till 8am and for the first time in my existence I felt exhausted, completely drained of energy slumped by my bedroom door. As I retuned myself to the world I heard panicked voices from the other side."Is he Ok?" Bella Panicked."Yes, He's Fine Izzy." Alice Responded sounding a bit pissed off, she must have asked this quite a lot then.

"Then why isn't he opening up, he's been in there for an hour already!" Bella must be really worried as her voice crept up an octave or two.I was getting up to open the door, when I opened the door the tiniest crack when Bella pushed the door open and flung her arms around my neck.

"Oh Edward, Are Your alright I've Been So worried about you!" She moved her head to take a look at my face, it felt bad so I snuggled into her neck instead._Edward, What happened to you, you look terrible. _Alice's Thoughts flooded through me. I wondered how bad I looked as I caught my reflection in My T.V.

_**OMG! **_I hadn't thought I was that eyes were the darkest of black and the purple bags under my eyes were puffy and unbelievably deep and low. Altogether I looked pained, like somebody had died, like I had died inside of me, probably the same as when I left …I tried my Hardest to compose my face to normal, giving Alice questioning looks every now and again, until after a minute or so she sighed_Suppose it will do… for now._

Bella unwrapped her arms around me and took one look at my face, "Wow, Edward What - You need to hunt now!" She smoothed the bags under my eyes with her soft fingertips, just like ….. Used to, she reminded me so much of her so I let my eyes flutter closed remembering us in the meadow, happy times, when she first came in my room, the first night I slept over, The look on everyone's faces and especially the thoughts in their heads when me and Bella arrived at school together for the first time. A thought of an empty, teary - eyed Bella pushed the happy memories away and I looked into the eyes of the heart-broken, sad Bella, the one I left in the forest. I shuddered at the memory."Honey, What's Wrong?" Bella asked Concerned.I let my eyes drift open."Nothing, I just need to hunt that's all." I soothed, I didn't want to worry her, but I didn't want her to find out the truth either, We've kept it a secret for 10 years and that's just what we expect to keep it, a secret.

" So do I, Shall we go now?" She gently took my hand in hers." Yes, I think that's a good idea." We walked downstairs together."Me and Bella are going hunting, See you later!" I called through the house. Just as we were heading out the door Alice stopped us."Edward about Bella…" Alice only used Bella for MY Bella and Izzy for my Fiancé because she said she felt uncomfortable calling my new girlfriend by her best friends name.

"What About Her?!" I growled, she knew I didn't like to Talk about her in front of Izzy for a very good reason._She's Here. _Alice added in her head.I didn't Stop to talk about it with her. I grabbed Bella's hand and sprinted to a good hunting spot near mine and My Bella's Meadow.**BPOV **Clutching the Jacob's Note in my Pocket I ran to a good hunting spot not far from our meadow. I had been sitting in his chair for an hour and I needed a good stretch.

As I drank from an Elk and buried its corpse I heard some nearby voices.

I climbed up a the closest tree and went from top to top until I could hear the voices as clearly as if I was standing next to them.

"Oh Look How Pretty It Is!" A young girl squealed. It sounded like a you girl had stumbled across _our _meadow.

I sat completely still as I was waiting for someone to respond to her."What's up Eddie, You haven't been acting yourself since we got here." _Eddie? _Just a coincidence I told myself - just a coincidence. No need to get your hopes up Bella. "I'm Fine, just this place reminds me a lot of somebody I know that's all - well used to know." NO WAY! This is not a coincidence, it's _him_, It's Edward! I climbed over tree after tree until I could see the meadow opening and silently slid down till a dull thud told me I was stable on the floor.

"You mean Bella that Friend of yours?" Did he tell her about me? I got the picture he hadn't explained everything to her from the way she stressed the word friend."Yes…" He simply stated in his velvety voice. I could tell he wanted to carry on but he decided against it.

I saw her look into his eyes whilst he stared back. I was obvious they were having a conversation, it aggravated me like it used to when I didn't know what they were talking about.

After a minute and a half he sighed and pulled her into him saying

"Yes, Just a friend." OWCH that one hurt. JUST A FRIEND. Anger boiled in side of me, well it was obvious they weren't just friends.

"Well thank you for Bringing me here Edward!" She leant backwards, his arms still cradling her back, she tiptoed up to him. Something I used to do when - NO! NO! NO! NO! Can my life get any worse!?

He bent his head down just like he did with me and their lips touched as her fingers tangled in his was it! I couldn't sit here and let this happen. But what could I do?

Before I had time to think I stomped out into the meadow and screamed at the top of my lungs;"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN, HOW COULD YOU!" My voice cracked at the end as I could already feel the sobs racking my frame. I couldn't let him see me cry, I wouldn't let me see me cry.I looked up at him, his face, his eyes, his opened his mouth and closed it again. Speechless.**EPOV** ____

_Are you sure she's just a friend _Izzy teased, I didn't want to get into a argument.

"Yes, Just a friend." I sighed, I pulled her close to my chest to keep me from falling apart.

"Well thank you for bringing me here!" Bella leaned backwards, whilst I held her close. She tiptoed up to me so I automatically leaned my head down towards her, she reminded me so much of Bella, our lips touched as I felt her fingers tangle through my hair.

Then I heard the most heartbreaking cry I've ever heard in my whole existence and I recognised it."EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN, HOW COULD YOU!" I looked up to find her standing there, right in front of me trying to keep her sobs from racking her body as she screamed at me, My angel, My Bella. I had the urge to run to her, to tell her I was sorry and I promise I would never leave again until I saw Izzy in my arms, I couldn't hurt her. We were engaged to get married.

So instead I opened my mouth, but shut it straight away when I realised I couldn't say anything that would help in anyway so I just stood there.

Speechless.


	16. Song Lyrics

**For The Past Couple Of Days I Have Been Ill In Bed Writing My Fan Fiction Story And Listening To Taylor Swift Songs.I Gave This Chapter A Lot Of Thought So I Hope You Like It.**

**BPOV **

When I reached Charlie's house I broke down, tight sobs built up in my chest until I couldn't hold on any longer to them or _him. _So I let out a scream, where I let all of it go.

**EPOV **

Izzy threw me questioning looks as Bella fled the fields in tears, I had automatically stepped forward to follow her, to tell her how sorry I was, to comfort her but Izzy pulled me back and I didn't want to hurt a few moments of silence I turned to Izzy about to suggest leaving when a heartbroken scream pierced the silence. Bella.

**BPOV**I had to talk to someone - I knew who be he was 'Occupied'. I took Jake's crumpled note out my pocket. I thought about going to La Push but that would just remind me of him and then I thought I should call him but I couldn't find my cell phone any where and I needed time to calm down first.

I was going through a list of things I could do to take my mind off what just happened when I ran upstairs grabbed my song book out of my rucksack and got my guitar from it's case and sat on the edge of my bed.

I started playing guitar a few months after he left. I even took piano lessons, I purchased my first guitar in a small town not far from Forks a while back. I also fell in love with a white mahogany piano that matched my guitar **(Pictures on Profile) **but I didn't stay in one place long enough to buy one.

I positioned myself on my bed with my legs crossed and dangling with my guitar perched on my higher right knee. For a moment I stared at my pride and joy, I gazed at how BELLA was neatly printed in pink and purple lettering contrasting with the white background. Under my name faintly in a butter-scotch golden colour was CULLEN . I started messing around with notes and chords until I strummed a familiar tune of my very first song that I wrote _Breathe. _I had taken Singing lessons as well so I started singing the words._I see your face in my mind as I drive away,_

_Coz None of us thought it was gonna end this are people and sometimes we change are minds,But it's killing me to see you go after all this , mm, mm. Mm, mm, mm. The music starts playing like the end of a saddened day,_

_It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna it's a tragedy and it will only bring you down,_

_I don't know what I'd be without you we know it's never that simple,Never easy, _

_Never a clean break,_

_No one here to save 're the only thing I know,_

_Like the back of my hand, _

_And I can't…_

_Breathe,Without You But I have to,Breathe,Without you but I have to. _

_Never wanted this,_

_Never wanted to see you hurt,_

_Every little bump in the road I try to swerve .People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out,Nothing we say is gonna save us from the far out._

_And we know it's never that simple,Never easy, _

_Never a clean break,_

_No one here to save me._

_You're the only thing I know,_

_Like the back of my hand, _

_And I can't…_

_Breathe,Without You But I have to,Breathe,Without you but I have to. _

_It's 2am,_

_Feeling like I just lost a friend,Hope you know it's not easy,Easy for me._

_It's 2am,_

_Feeling like I just lost a friend,Hope you know it's not easy,Easy for me._

_And we know it's never that simple,Never easy, _

_Never a clean break,_

_No one here to save me._

_Breathe,Without You But I have to,Breathe,Without you but I have to,_

_Breathe,Without you but I have to. _

I slowly the chords down to finish them slid into my second song I wrote.

That was the very first song I wrote and it explained everything.

**EPOV**

I had got Alice to take Izzy shopping with her and ban me from coming so I could go check on Bella, I had a feeling she was staying at Charlie's.

I honestly felt bad about what happened in our meadow, I didn't want her to find out like that.I ran to Charlie's house and I heard her voice floating through her open window - I never knew she could sing!? I sat on the tree right by her window causally. He back was facing me so that meant she didn't know I was here - good.

_Breathe,Without You But I have to,Breathe,Without you but I have to,_

_Breathe,Without you but I have to. _

She slowed her playing - Bella can play guitar!?I was about to knock on the window but she flowed into another song straight away, a more upbeat one. So I sat and listened, not wanting to disturb her._I don't think that passenger seat, _

_Has ever looked this good to tells me bout his night,And I count the colours in his eyes._

_He'll never fall in love he swears,_

_As he runs his fingers through his hair,_

_I'm laughing coz I hope he's wrong._

_And I don't think it's ever crossed his mind,He tells a joke, I fake a smile, But I know all his favourite songs._

_And I could tell you,His favourite colours green,He loves to argue,Born on the twentieth,His Sisters beautiful,He has his fathers eyes,And if you ask me if I love him,I'd lie._

_He looks around the room,Innocently over looks the 't a light go on,_

_Doesn't he know I've had it memorised for so long._

_He see's everything Black and White,Never let nobody see him cry,And I don't let nobody see me,Wishing he was mine._

_And I could tell you,His favourite colours green,He loves to argue,Born on the twentieth,His Sisters beautiful,He has his fathers eyes,And if you ask me if I love him,I'd lie._

_He stands there then walks away,My god if I could only say,I'm holding every breathe for 'd never tell you,But he can play guitar,I think he can see through,Everything but my thought when I wake up,_

_My god he's beautiful,So I put on my makeup,And pray for miracle._

_And I could tell you,His favourite colours green,He loves to argue,Oh and it kills Sisters beautiful,He has his fathers eyes,And if you ask me if I love him,I'd lie. And I could tell you,His favourite colours green,He loves to argue,Born on the twentieth,His Sisters beautiful,He has his fathers eyes,And if you ask me if I love him,I'd lie._

_Oh, yeah, yeah, oh._

**BPOV **

I strummed the end of the song till I brought my playing to a close.

"Beautiful Songs." The voice floated into my window.

I turned around, there he was just sat on my window ledge. My memory didn't do him justice, he was beautiful as ever.

"Do You Do That A Lot?" I responded.

"Only The Past Couple Of Months." His crooked smile appeared on his face. A soft giggle escaped my lips as he repeated what he had said over 151 years ago.

"Don't be funny when I'm trying to be mad at you." I tried to put on a mean voice but giggled at the end.

His smile dropped." I'm sorry about earlier." He whispered.

"Still doesn't change anything." I replied sadly. It didn't - it only changed the fact my heart yearned for him stronger.

"I Know." He looked at my guitar."I never knew you could play." He nodded at it.

"I learnt over the years. I can play piano as well." I explained.

"And the voice?" "Singing Lessons."

I caught him looking at the name on the guitar."I was been stupid." I didn't want to tell him the real reasons I got Bella Cullen printed on my guitar like I missed him or I thought if I did it, it would help me find him faster and this way he was with me everywhere I went." I don't think so." He comforted. He moved his Cullen Family Crest wristband further up his arm and turned his wrist so his palm was facing up.

I gasped.I saw he had Isabella Marie Swan tattooed in the space where the wristband should go with a very entrecote love heart round it."Alice." He nodded at me."That explains a lot." I hummed.

I pulled his wristband back down to his tensed up."Oh how I hate Alice so much right now - I tell her to do one thing, ONE THING and she ruins it." He muttered."What's wrong." I wondered.

" I Have to go, Complications." That wasn't much of an answer."I'll be round later…" I answered automatically. "… For Alice, I haven't see her for 150 years." I ended."Sorry." He came close together, but no contact but I could defiantly feel the same spark, the same tug.

" I really missed you Bella." Edward Breathed.


	17. Alice

**Sorry I haven't wrote for ages. I have been very busy lately but I AM BACK *HOLD FOR APPAULAUSE**DUN DUN DAHHHHH* Sorry if my writing is a bit messed up I have my fake nails on for the first time and I need to get used to typing in them!Here is the story! **

**EPOV **

"Alice what happened you were gone for hardly an hour!" I stormed into the house, she had interrupted mine and Bella's time and probably the only time I get to speak to her before the --- wedding -- I chocked out the words in my mind. It should Be Mine and Bella's Wedding - in fact our wedding should have been a very long time ago.

"THAT PHYSCO YOU CALL A GIRLFRIEND HAPPENED - WHY DID YOU GO AND LEAVE BELLA FOR!" Alice screamed at me - if I was human she'd probably of made my ears bleed.

"WELL ALICE YOU CAN'T OF EXPECTED EDWARD TO LOVE HER JUST BECAUSE SHE LOVED HIM! HE WAS OVBIOUSLY NEVER MEANT TO BE WITH HER." I was just about to question Alice when Izzy came bursting through the door.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE LOVED HIM HE ---hasn't told you everything has he?!" The realisation kicked in as Alice figured out I hadn't exactly told Izzy everything there was to do with me and Bella. She was about to continue when she had a vision - it was of Bella coming here in less then two minutes.

"We'll continue this conversation later, I'm going to see my sister again!" Alice squealed jumping up and down with excitement.

Then she flung the door open and there was Bella."I didn't think I would have to knock." She grinned at Alice.

"BELLA!" Alice squealed flinging her arms around Bella's Neck.

"Nice to see you too Alice, I see we don't say hi anymore then." Bella squeezed Alice back.

"Sorry, Hi!" Alice took a step back holding on to Bella as if she let go she would disappear, taking a good look at her.

"WOW." Was all Alice responded with.

" I Think I could say the same for you too! I've missed you so much!" Bella hugged Alice again.

"By the way What's this?" Alice tugged on Bella's guitar case.

"Alice it's called a Guitar." Bella giggled.

"Yes I know that, but why do you have it with you?"

"Well When you - left - " I could hear her voice crack when she said anything about it. " - Charlie made me take piano, guitar and singing lessons for something to do, at first I hated them, they reminded me - " She glanced at me while saying this. " - but then I liked it and got into it more, I felt I could express myself more with music. I wanted to come see you and wondered if you wanted to hear a couple of new songs I wrote and of course I missed you as well.." She explained like everyone asks her that question all the time - they probably do with talent like hers.

Alice just stared open mouthed at Bella like she was taking her all in, her new eyes, her longer hair, her more designer clothes, everything had changed about her but still very little had.

"Okay shall we go listen to your song then, we can go to my room if you want." Alice sighed looking at me half way through.

_Edward you better not ruin this time I have with her! _What did she mean this time I have left with her? How Much time?

**BPOV**

We Both took seats, me on her couch and her on her vanity mirror stool with Alice Printed on the Back.

I took my Guitar out of the case and settled in a comfortable position, I was fidgeting a lot because I was nervous - I had never played my music publicly before all by earlier when Edward heard me but that didn't count it was unintentional.

I started at first strumming a little tune and chords to get me warmed up.

I noticed Alice eyeing my guitar u and specially my name on it.

"Please don't…." I sighed. I really should scratch that off but I don't know if I want to or even if I could I couldn't hurt my baby or the fact I wish my name was that legally - that would never happen now.

"It's ok. I won't tell." Alice pushed her index finger to her lips.

"He knows, it's okay. I have to be more careful what I do in future. And before you ask no I cant scratch it off because this guitar is technically my life now, I have no more reason to live for and I'm not going to mark it in any way." I sadly looked down - what I said was true. Technically I didn't have anything else to live for because I lived for him.

"Okay anyway when am I gonna get to hear these songs then." Alice's mood bubbled up.

" Now, It won't be very good but I just had a lot on my mind so I Wrote this." I started playing some chords to the song I made earlier then it got into a drift and I began to sing some lyrics that had a lot of meaning to them.

_I remember what you wore on the first day_

_You came into my life_

_And I thought hey_

_You know this could be something_

_'Cause everything you do and words you say_

_You know that it all takes my breath away_

_And now I'm left with nothing_

_'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you_

_Well maybe two is better than one_

_There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life_

_And you've already got me coming undone_

_And I'm thinking two, is better than one_

_I remember every look upon your face,_

_The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste_

_You make it hard for breathing_

_'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away_

_I think of you and everything's okay_

_And finally now, we're leaving_

_And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you_

_Well maybe two is better than one_

_There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life_

_And you've already got me coming undone_

_And I'm thinking two, is better than one_

_Yeah, yeah_

_I remember what you wore on the first day_

_You came into my life_

_And I thought hey_

_Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you_

_Maybe two is better than one_

_There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life_

_And you've already got me coming undone_

_And I'm thinking_

_Ooh I can't live without you_

_'Cause baby two is better than one_

_There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life_

_And I've figured out with all that's said and done_

_Two, is better than one_

_Two is better than one_

I looked at Alice, she was bouncing up and down clapping her hands together.

"I LOVE IT! YOUR AMAZING BOTH SINGING AND PLAYING! I NEED TO HEAR MORE." Alice near enough screamed at me."Okay the next one is from a the kind of depression stage of my life and its Bring Me To Life but Alice I will need to borrow a piano." I answered.

"Great, We Have One Of Those!" Still bouncing around she took me downstairs, through the lounge and to the old hall they she opened the door, dust particles came racing out in thick clumps.

"WOW, It looks as if its been abandoned." It nearly made me cry that Edward could stop playing his piano and just abandon it here in this state.

I walked over to it and sat gracefully down on the stool.

As I ran my fingers over the keys I left trails with my fingertips had touched the long lost wood far underneath the dust layer.

I began playing a very familiar tune, a tune I have played so many times and had it played to me so many times I have memorised the notes and know all of the tune off by Lullaby.

**EPOV **

Alice and Bella flew downstairs towards our old hall were my piano sat.

After a few minutes a slow tickling sound came and then developed into a much more confident melody - a very familiar melody that I used to play frequently. Alice couldn't play piano so it must be - Bella. Bella was playing her lullaby - one that I had played her so many years ago and it was beautiful.

Then her melody slowed down and got higher in pitch then after a few notes she went into a full blown song and she even started singing in her angel voice.

_how can you see into my eyes like open doors_

_leading you down into my core_

_where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold_

_until you find it there and lead it back home_

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_bid my blood to run_

_(I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_save me from the nothing I've become_

_now that I know what I'm without_

_you can't just leave me_

_breathe into me and make me real_

_bring me to life_

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_bid my blood to run_

_(I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

_(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)_

_Bring me to life_

_frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead_

_all this time I can't believe I couldn't see_

_kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems_

_got to open my eyes to everything_

_without a thought without a voice without a soul_

_don't let me die here_

_there must be something more_

_bring me to life_

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_bid my blood to run_

_(I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_save me from the nothing I've become_

_(Bring me to life)_

_I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside_

_(Bring me to life)_

The song had such feeling in it that if I was human I would breakdown right then and there, but I couldn't - not yet.

I just wanted to tell her I was sorry, she would never know how sorry I was.

**BPOV**

After the song I couldn't help myself as tears begged to leave my eyes and sobs racked violently. I slumped into Alice as I held my sides together not letting any more cracks appear in what was left of the piece of my heart - the parts that tell me there is little hope in this dream of mine.


	18. Nightmares

**OK so before you get mad at me I want to tell you I'm Going to update at least twice a week now because I know what its like to wait for a story to update and it takes forever so I promise from now on ATLEAST twice a week I will update. BUT on the bad side is- I don't know how you feel about my story and where its going and I want you to tell me but I've only got 22 fantastic reviews over 18 chapters and none tell me what you want to happen so REVIEW or I'll bite you! LOL no but seriously please, please, please REVIEW!**

**EPOV**

I heard Bella's voice hitch and a muffled sob.

I ran upstairs and froze outside her door - of course she wouldn't want to see me right now, but what had made her so upset?

**BPOV**

I looked up at Alice as sobs racked my body violently once more shaking both of us. I noticed Her eyes weren't looking at me they were glaring, intensely straight forward. I turned my body so I was facing _him _as well. He was also Staring intensely at her, probably having some silent argument that they don't want me to know about for some stupid reason - probably not to hurt me anymore but how could I get more hurt I'm already broken into pieces only one person could ever fix.

After a few nods and shakes from Edward a low growl escaped his lips.

"Please don't argue guys." I whimpered exhaustedly low even vampires had to strain to hear me.

"Were not, don't worry." I wasn't convinced as Alice's eyes were still trained on Edward.

Then Out of Nowhere Alice's mouth dropped open and screamed at Edward; " She didn't even Know!" I cringed away from the noise.

Edward Realised.

"Alice please don't scream, your upsetting Bella." He Sounded so soft, like he actually cared about me - but it would never be in the way I cared for him.

"And you haven't." Alice stated and even though she said just three words it cut through me like a thousands knifes and pulled out yet another piece of my heart.

"It wasn't my fault." It sounded like they carried on the left conversation. Edward Shied away from Alice as he backed up against the stairs banister.

"Of course it isn't, it never is, is it?" Alice continued, I had never heard Alice talk to Edward like this and I was shocked to see all this anger in both of them.

So I did what I do when things got to much, I hid.I scrunched up into a ball and hid in the darkness of my empty heart.

**EPOV**

Alice was right, I had made Bella like this, sobbing into Alice's arm, It should be mine but I know that will never happen, as of what Alice had shown me I wasn't in Bella's near future at all.

This made my heart want to bleed but been the Cold-hearted, Blood-thirsty monster I am, It would be impossible.

I slugged downstairs, the others were still hunting so I had nothing to do for the rest of the night as I didn't want to go over --- wedding plans with Izzy. That would just hurt me more - even thought I knew I deserved it. So I started on some English Essay Alice said that school would give us on Thursday and yippy! We were doing Romeo and Juliet for a whole term. What a way to rub it in my face!?**BPOV**

Alice stayed at mine that weekend while the others hunted - she said making her stay on her own with Edward and his --- I couldn't even say the word --- would be torture.

Alice was great help. I got everything off my chest and every time I got upset she would comfort me by talking about other things, watching movies, shopping and playing Bella Barbie dress-up (without any complaining). Many time I looked in the mirror and thought about Victoria's Words; "Mate For Mate." How wrong she was about that. I was never Edward's Mate - I once thought I was and he was mine but now I'm stronger, wiser, more independent and now I will always know the truth.

The Weekend ended to fast for my liking and Alice had to leave to see Jasper. She was reluctant at first but I reassured her I would be fine and I was definitely be at school on Monday (well In a few hours) and she even arranged me to go and see the rest of the family as they didn't even know I was here - yet.

Monday Morning started with a light drizzle as I clutched my bag to my chest and climbed into my new Porsche 911 Turbo my phone went off loudly to a song I recorded " Going Under." As I checked the message it was from Alice:

_Hey Bella,_

_Glad Your Coming Today,_

_Missed You_

_Alice_

_x- x - x - x_

I smiled at the message and changed my profile to silent as I flicked the phone lid down and went on my way to my 'new' school.

As I made my way into the car park I saw Alice squeezing out her packed car looking quite annoyed but as she spotted me she smiled, got Jasper's arm and skipped over to me. We had decided if anyone asked how we knew each other then we would tell the truth - that Edward was my ex boyfriend and that he moved here without him knowing I was here.

As me, Alice and Jasper made our way to the office me and Alice got a few wolf-whistles and Jasper wrapped his arm around Alice's waist to claim his property and as I looked behind both Emmett and --- Edward were doing the same. So I was the one all the boys were going after today as heads rolled to look that I was the only new girl without a match.

When we had all picked up our timetables I headed my self down to English.

As I walked in the room I heard several whistles and "she is mine." 's from the back of the room, the teacher hadn't arrived yet so everyone was out of their seats chatting to one another.

I was about to head to an empty seat when Edward walked in the room.

"Hey." he walked up to me smiling - why would he smile for it's not like he's happy to see me here. It's probably another reason -

Then in came _her _- I didn't exactly know her name and didn't really want to but I'm guessing from over hearing so many of Alice's and Edward's conversations her name was Izzy.

So that was the reason he was smiling.

"Hi." I mumbled slowly as Izzy came over clutching Edward's arm as the teacher strode in the room and everyone got to their places, leaving me, Edward and Izzy at the front.

"Hello you must be the Cullen's." The teacher said.

"Will be soon." Izzy added low enough or him not to hear.

"Well actually I'm Swan sir." I thought about using a different name but they would never look me up or anything, and I had checked before my data and my dads have been wiped off the system and put into the death book.

"Oh I'm So sorry Miss Swan. My Name is Mr Buxton. I'm sure there is some spare seats somewhere. Oh Yes there's three at the back there by Abigail." He pointed to a young looking girl who squeezed aside for us to all fit in our desks.

**EPOV**

As I sat in my seat English began and as Alice had said we had started Romeo and Juliet as we were halfway through a reading I caught on to some peoples thoughts.

_OMG that girl is so my type and she is lucky I'm single!_

_OMG WHY CANT I BE THAT PRETTY _

_HE'S FIT!_

As we got to the bit were Romeo was declaring his undying love for Juliet I saw Bella cringe into her chair and wrap her arms around her chest and stomach.

Then the bell went saying it was time for me to go to German and I could tell it would be a long day - What a nightmare!


	19. A Meeting With The Cullen's

**Hey I'm really excited about this chapter and the next chapter because they're are a lot of inside jokes LOL and that person will know it's for them LOL!**

**I'm also excited about another story I am planning on writing shortly and over the next few chapters I'll give you sneak peeks at the title and summary and some of the main story.**

**Enjoy, I had fun writing this chapter and the next because it's based on a real friend and I'm sure she'll have fun reading this chapter and the next.**

**Miss Bella Cullen 18**

**o ~ x ~ o ~ x ~ o**

**BPOV**

Calculus was even more boring then usual as the day dragged to a close. As soon as the bell rang I jumped out my seat, Alice had told me to go over to the Cullen's at seven and it was only three now so I rushed home, speeding so fast down the freeway when I arrived at my house it was only seven minutes passed - not my best time.

I raced up to my room and pulled my phone out my bag and dialled a familiar number.

"Hey." A soft voice answered.

"Hey Phoebe, Where are you?" Phoebe was one of my closest best friends I had met when I had lived in North Carolina, she reminded me of Alice in many ways like how she has visions of the future, loved shopping and makeovers and stood at a height of 4' 7. The only minor difference was instead of short pixie hair, Phoebe had long, glossy black hair that normally had colourful highlights streaked in it.

"I'm Already on my way, Physic remember." Just like Phoebe. Always coming when I needed her.

"Thanks -"

"I'll be there in about two hours that should give you time. See you then bye!" Give me time to what? I didn't think I needed to do anything all by make sure I was at the Cullen's for seven.

URGH that was so annoying but Phoebe's one of those people you can't ever be angry or annoyed at for long.

As I had my phone I decided it was a good time to call Jake.

I tapped in his number and a familiar voice answered:

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake it's Bella." I felt my lips curve into an uncontrollable smile.

"Oh Hi, you got my note then." He almost sounded upset to hear me.

"Yes, Thanks by the way." I had a lot of things to say but I just didn't know how to say them after all these years.

"I knew you would come back. I told everyone you would but after Billy and Charlie you know well they all kind of stopped believing but I knew you would come back and the pack still ran patrols searching for you, we went as far as Mexico since _they l_eft, we still do - I mean we did because I'm guessing your not alone." I could hear the sadness in his voice and could tell he had begun crying - I hated putting anyone through pain especially Jake. That was one of the reasons I had left I knew how much it hurt everyone around me plus Charlie to see me so 'lifeless' day after day but I really couldn't help it.

Especially when I ran after Edward that day in the forest - Leaving Jake behind. I started shaking then how I remembered how much pain I put everyone through watching me slink away into the darkness not even trying to hold on anymore.

"Bella!?" Jake's worried voice came down the line - I had almost forgot I was even on the phone then.

"Yes about that -" I caught a glance at the time it was already four thirty. "Jake can we meet tomorrow, I'll come down to the reservation at three thirty?"

"Yes, I'll see you then, then! Bye!" I could almost hear him smiling down the phone.

"Bye see you tomorrow."

"Oh wait Jake!" I heard the receiver tone drone on. "Missed you." I whispered into the phone.

I turned to my clock again only another twenty minutes and Phoebe will be here!

"Bella!?" I could hear the panic in Phoebe's voice.

"Phoebe! you're here!" My throat didn't burn but it was unusually sore like somebody had scratched my whole inside of it with sandpaper.

"Bella, Speak Please!" I heard Alice above my head - what was she doing here? Can they not hear me or my attempts at least?

"Alice." I tried again, I could feel Alice's tense hands resting on mine so I tried squeezing them.

" Oh Thank god, I was getting worried." Alice sighed as she carefully helped me sit up. I took a deep breathe and saw Carlisle and Esme standing in my doorway.

"What Happened?" I choked out.

"Well when I came over I yelled you but you never answered so I came upstairs and you started screaming - things and then I didn't know what else to do because every time I got close enough you screamed other - things. " Phoebe kneeled on my floor with a cup of water in her hands for me. What things? I would ask her later when we were on our own.

I looked around the room and down at me, my arms were wrapped tightly round my torso and now I can imagine what _things _I was screaming.

"Then I had a vision and told Carlisle and soon everyone came along, their all downstairs I hope you don't mind, they've all really missed you." Alice continued emphasizing the all part.

"The whole family?" I asked involuntary.

I tried to lift myself onto my bed but it felt like I hadn't hunted in years as I was so drained of energy so Alice came over and gently set me down on the bed. That's when I glanced at my clock - eleven already?!

"Wow, I was out a long time!" Normally they only ever happen for half an hour to an hour max and they don't result going this far.

"Bella has this happened before?" Carlisle came out of the doorway toward my bed asking in a voice that nobody could lie to.

" A Few times but not so much in recent times and they've never lasted that long or resulted in what ever that was." I answered honestly - I didn't want to lie to Carlisle. I wanted things to go back to normal without me been wacko and the only way was to first me been as cooperative as I could.

"Bella, Even for a human that is… serious let alone a vampire." Carlisle expression changed to sadness as I think he figured out the cause for all my pain.

"Carlisle, Bella and Phoebe, If they wish could come stay with us for a while, just until things are a little better." Alice's eyes glinted as she did the can't-say-no-to-please-daddy puppy pout face.

"I'm defiantly not objecting but don't you of all people Alice think the situation right now is a bit - _difficult_." I knew he had choose his wording carefully but although it sort of annoyed me it pleased me in one way that he cared about me enough to not make my pain any worse.

Alice gave Carlisle once again the can't-say-no-to-please-daddy puppy pout face once more.

"Well, I guess it would be good if I could measure your health and of course we've missed you so …" He took one glance at Esme as her face lit up into a smile. "… We'll set you a room up."

"Thank you." I croaked - I really did need some water.

"Me too, Thank you very much." Phoebe said shaking Carlisle's hand.

"So, think you can manage it downstairs?" Alice giggled.

I eased myself off my bed and took a sip of water. Carlisle and Esme gave me a confused look which I gave a I'll-explain-later look back to them while Phoebe and Alice sat and giggled.

Alice and Phoebe both took a arm and Phoebe carefully balanced the water in her other hand as they guided me down my stairs.

As soon as I was down on the ground they let go of both my arms gently at the same time but I wasn't expecting it as I was toppling forward Rosalie scooped me into a gentle hug - something I had never expected off Rosalie.

"Bella I'm so sorry for the way I acted before." She whispered into my ear and I nodded in acceptance.

Next Emmett raced up behind Rose and pulled my into a soft bear hug.

"Missed you Little Sis!" He sighed as he ruffled my hair.

"Missed you too."

Then Jasper slowly made his way toward me and pulled me into a hug. He didn't say anything so I broke the silence.

"Jasper I don't blame you, so stop blaming yourself already!" I said giving him a soft mock punch in his shoulder then he gave me a smile and a nod and settled back down on the sofa.

Carlisle and Esme both hugged me as Phoebe handed me the water as I took a sip I could feel eight pairs of eyes on me.

"Water satisfies my hunger." I answered the unasked question.

"Doesn't it taste well Nasty?" Emmett pulled a face of disgust as I sipped it again.

"No, it tastes like sugar water did when I was human and the same with Werewolves - the scent. Instead if smelling the 'disgusting' smell that you smell and vice versa. I smell like cinema sweet popcorn to them and they smell like that to me, well at least Jake does anyway." I sighed - I really needed to see him, I couldn't wait for tomorrow but I guess I'd have to.

I saw Edward cringe the tiniest bit as I mentioned Jake's name.

Then the Cullen's asked plenty of questions about my little of my human life through every detail of my vampire life up to the recent moment.

By the time I finished the sun was rising and it was six am.

"Carlisle Can we have the day off with Bella today?" Alice pleaded without using her can't-say-no-to-please-daddy puppy pout face this time.

" I don't think that will be a good idea since the weathers fine and it's only your second day.

Oh Bella - Take it easy will you?" Carlisle motioned everyone out the door saying byes as they went all except two.

"Well they seemed nice." Phoebe giggled. "I'm going to get ready call me if you need me." And she made her way upstairs.

I heard the shower water running as I made my way upstairs until I spotted something on my sofa.

It was a note.

_Bella,_

_Hope you read this I'm sorry about everything and we'll talk later._

_Edward _

_Xx_

I didn't see him write this! I folded it neatly and pushed it in my pocket as I went to get ready for school, it's going to be a long day!

**Hey I hope you like my Phoebe character but I want to know what you thought of her in the ****REVIEWS ****and since she's Bella's Best Friend do you want her to be in most chapters or not many - I need to know what you want people! **

**Also to encourage you to click the ****REVIEW ****button I need to name it so then if I say click on "whatever its name is" then you can click **

**1) Review button needs a name **

**2) What do you think about Phoebe - Love her, hate her? TELL ME!**


	20. The Truth?

**Okay I know to some people I said the next chapter will be up on Wednesday but here in England I am in Year 9, Which is the start to our GCSE courses so my school is literally piling on the homework at the moment. So Sorry but here it is so technically I've stayed in my two updates in one week guideline but next week will be back to normal.**

**Enjoy this chapter and the next. **

**This was supposed to be the meeting with the wolves but I changed it because I thought it would go well with the next few chapters.**

**BPOV**

During Lunch I sat down with my 'props' and settled next to Alice and Phoebe along with Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett while _they _sat a few tables away.

My Phone vibrated in my pocket and I excused myself to take the call away from any hearing ranges.

'Hey Jake."

"Hey! I was wondering do you want me to pick you up after school instead of coming over later?" I thought about Phoebe, I'd tell her when I get inside.

"Yes, three alright, same old school." I laughed - it felt so good to really laugh, I didn't think it was possible when _they _came into my life.

"Ok, I'll be there, oh you don't mind going to a campfire later do you? Paul's sister is coming up as well." I was surprised to hear Paul was still there after 150 years.

"Paul's still there then?" I giggled imaging a old Paul.

" Yeah, only me, Paul, Seth and Leah are the only ones left from the old pack, but I guess more wolves will be born now your back - but it's good we'll probably need more reinforcements." He chuckled out the last sentence.

"Bella?" Phoebe came round the corner.

" Sorry Jake, I got to go but I'll see you at three - can't wait!" I really couldn't wait and I had to use most of my self control to not bounce up and down with excitement Alice style. I turned my phone off quickly and turned the corner.

"Phoebe tonight I'm …."

"I know - I have things to do so don't worry about me and HAVE FUN!" Phoebes visions were slightly different to Alice's because for some strange reason Phoebe could see werewolves. So she could see me with Jake tonight.

"Where have you been?" Alice wiggled her finger at me.

"I went to take a private phone call." I waggled my finger back as we both giggled.

"Anyway, what do you want to do tonight?" I felt bad I had to burst Alice's happy bubble.

"Well Actually Alice, I thought I'd visit Jake tonight." AGAIN - what is it with Edward? (ouch that hurt) Every time I mention Jake he cringes, so minutely but still he cringes and it's like I'm the only one who can tell.

"Oh." Alice sighed. "There's always tomorrow." Her eyes glinted as she nudged Phoebe. That must be bad news.

I turned and caught Edward's eye. He gave me a we-need-to-talk now look that I was all too familiar look that used to haunt me in my dreams as a human.

"I'm going to freshen up, before next period." Greatest excuse I could use with short notice.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Alice popped up, she had obviously had a vision about what was going to happen.

"No. I'll be fine Alice, I'm a big girl now thanks though." I got quite a few giggles and even a slight smile from Edward as Alice gave me a warning look and sat quietly down.

**EPOV**

I watched as Bella made her way out the cafeteria.

I wondered what my excuse would be to leave and how long I should wait.

I gave it five minutes and one tenth of a second until I made my excuse;

"I'm going for a walk." I stood up and so did Izzy - she never realised I needed ALONE time, that was the difference between her and Bella.

Alice quickly pulled Izzy back down again.

"I need to show you some wedding things."

That's when I nearly ran out the cafeteria at vampire speed.

I walked through the main office and English block but I couldn't see her anywhere so I tried the car park and there she was, just sitting in her car. She must have seen me because she started getting out - I had an urge to go and help her out to make sure she didn't slip but I had to restrain myself. It wouldn't look good if I was meant to be getting married in under a month.

She made her way towards me and for a split second I imagined her wearing a beautiful wedding dress with my mother's old ring on her finger with Alice, Rosalie and Phoebe as her bridesmaids behind her as she stopped right in front of me and took my hand.

Then it was gone.

She stopped right in front of me, waiting for me to speak.

"Bella, You know how dangerous crossing the border is." I said softly, I didn't want to cause any arguments.

" I've done it before and I've been invited." Before - meaning when she was human I guessed.

"But they're meant to be our enemies." It was the only thing I could think of.

" Correction Edward, They're YOUR enemies - They have every right to hate you. I just wish I could to." What she didn't hate me?! As I was getting my head around it she turned to walk away but I needed to talk to her more so I touched her arm gently. I don't know what made her stop and turn round it was either the shock of my touch after all this time or the fact a massive electric shock just coursed through my body and she could feel it to.

"What?" I whispered.

She shook her head.

"Please." I pleaded with her as she shook me off her and carried on walking.

**BPOV**

It took all my strength to walk away from him. The anger had replaced the spark.

"WHY!" I yelled at him, not caring how many people had started to stare at us.

Edward looked up with shock on his face.

"WHY DO YOU CARE IF I GO OR NOT?!" I yelled again as Phoebe and The rest of the Cullen's - Including _her _gathered outside with confused looks on their faces.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO HATE YOU!

HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET MY LIFE BACK!

SO WHY SHOULD YOU CARE IF YOU'VE ALREADY DONE SO MUCH TO ME!?"

I let the anger pool up and explode, releasing it felt good for once.

**EPOV **

_It's Now Or Never. _Alice thought._ What the Hell? _Izzy gave me a confused look.

_How You Gonna get out of this one bro? _

_She got you good! _I saw Emmett and Jasper shake hands and continue watching - probably made a bet of some sort.

Could I really tell her. Tell her the real reason why.

"Because…" I stuttered as _It's now or never _circled around in my head.

"Because…" Could I really break Izzy like this.

"Because…" Bella had, had enough and turned and started to walk away. I got a sudden rush.

I've lost her once before, I don't want to lose her again.

"Because… I'm in love with you!" I admitted.

Bella froze mid step and turned around to face me.

That's it. I did it.

I told her the truth.


	21. A Meeting With The Wolves

**I've been ill for the past week with a bad case of flu so sorry that I haven't updated!Thank you for the story and author alerts and the reviews I've gotten! **

**This chapter took some time to write to get the exact effect.**

**BPOV**

I froze mid-step and turned to face Edward his words still echoing loudly. People had begun to stare at us been so still and silent.

I turned to look at the Cullen's. They all turned to look at me. Alice had a smug grin on her face, almost the same as Phoebe while the others looked just as surprised as I did. All except for one. Izzy. She had the face of thunder as she just glared at me, looking between me and Edward. Yet somehow only glaring at me then pulling her eyes back to normal when she stared at Edward.

Everyone stared at me waiting for me to say something….. Anything …..

"What?" I whispered. …except that!… I slapped my head internally. I don't want to hear it again, I understood perfectly what he had said in fact it was still ringing in my ears.

I coughed, I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to say. I glanced at Alice and Phoebe for support but the both looked far into the distance, having visions. I stood there staring at them but I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward, not yet.

I glanced back at Alice and Phoebe they both looked nervous and worried as I started to bite my bottom lip.

"H-h-how could you s-say that?" I whispered knowing he could hear me.

"After everything, everything you've done to me. You've been back in my life for not even a week and you say that!" I found my voice volume sliding gradually upwards till I was shouting. "How could you!" I didn't know what else to say and I really didn't want to stick around to see what everyone else would say. I glanced quickly at Alice and Phoebe who were close to tears that would never fall. What? I thought to myself. I turned back to glance at the one person I couldn't stand to be within ten miles with right now. He brought his head up from the ground, sadness, regret, guilt all poured out of his eyes.

I couldn't handle all this right now.

I looked towards the rest of the Cullen's, Jasper cringing into himself, I'd have to apologise to him when I get a chance, I know how tense it would be right now. Then Emmett, I gave a soft smile and he smiled back, not a bear smile but a shy smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Oh how much I've missed my family. I looked down at the ground as I felt tears well up in my eyes when I looked up Emmett stood there his arms outstretched as he took a few steps towards me. I closed the space and wrapped my arms around him. My Big Brother.

I'm not sure just how long I was sat there dry sobbing into Emmett's arms but when I felt steady enough I stood up, him supporting my arm.

"Thanks Emmett." I blinked a couple of times before I grasped I was at the Cullen's house, in a strange room I'd never seen before.

Emmett chuckled when he saw my confusion on my face.

"The teachers didn't know what to do, neither did the nurse so we said we'd bring you home. The others are downstairs."

"Thanks Again."

"It's alright, that's what big brothers do. And of course pummel the guy who broke your heart in the first place and I cant do that for obvious reasons plus you probably wouldn't be very happy with the outcome because believe me I've tried." Emmett stared off into space, probably remembering trying to beat Ed-him up - well I certainly wouldn't object now.

"It's all right Emmett, you're his brother as well." I sighed, I wished I had been born or turned and was in the Cullen's instead of trying to work my way in when even I know that will be impossible, seeing my current situation.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered out loud.

"Your going to clean yourself up, get changed, Jacob called and he is picking you up in a bit and then you'll come home and then we'll talk." Trust Emmett to have it all organised for me.

"Sounds like a plan." I smiled, looking up at him. For a moment I could imagine his gold eyes and face moulded to be Ed-his. It made me jump.

"What's wrong?"

I blinked hard once and opened my eyes again and there was My big brother Emmy bear.

"Nothing. Just thinking. I'm going to get a shower." I went to get up but he tugged my hand just a little so I turned around.

"He said he's really sorry for upsetting you earlier."

"Ugh." I muttered. Just like him to get his brother to 'mention' something about him.

"Bella, we all really miss you, just remember that." And he released my hand.

I let the water drain over my cool skin, it felt good to relax a little bit.

I walked into the room I awoke in to find some clothes laid neatly on my own little sofa courtesy of Alice and Phoebe no doubt.

I slipped the little blue and white summer dress over my head and smoothed it out then I slipped on a little pair of light blue shorts just in case the wind decided to blow and then slipped on a pair of blue flats that personally I loved. I sat down put a few curls in my hair and grabbed the light blue over shoulder bag and pulled that round me then finally slapped on a bit of lip gloss, bronzers and foundation and I was all good to go.

I checked the mirror and I looked good to say so myself.

I headed down the stairs tightly gripping the banister.

"Alice, Phoebe?" I called down the stairs.

"Yeah, were right in here." they called from the living room.

"Where were you, what happened to Bella Barbie Dress Up? Doing my hair? Makeup?" I was upset that they didn't even bother coming up. Either of them.

"We thought you wanted some space after earlier…" Alice trailed off. She had a good point.

"Oh. Well whoever picked out these clothes are a genius - I love them." I sighed playing with my dress.

"I'm glad you like it, you should like this as well then." Phoebe scooped up a little blue cardigan from the sofa and slipped it over my shoulders.

"There look, Beautiful." The both sighed together. I was about to sit down but a loud car horn beeped from the bottom of the drive.

"Jake's here!" I squealed.

I pulled open the door as Jake got out and ran to the door with an umbrella as it had started to drizzle out.

"Jake!"

"Bella!" We hugged for five minutes.

"I've got an umbrella, so you don't have to worry about ruining your hair." I looked into his eyes and there was something new there, something special. I blew it off we were just happy to see each other.

"Okay see you guys later, I've got my phone on me so text me if there's an issue."

I hooked onto Jake's arm as he put the umbrella up and we ran to the car where he safely opened my door to let me in then got him self in the drivers side.

"So your living with Cullen?" His words had a different meaning, not like I'm living with the Cullen's but he thought I was living with him.

"Not exactly like that Jake." I sighed as I turned to look out the window.

"Who picked up the phone earlier. He said you were busy or something."

"Probably Emmett. He was helping me with ….. Stuff." I ended, I didn't want to tell Jake the whole story, not yet.

"Right, well Paul's sister will be here by four and we'll probably arrive at the camp fire for then anyways."

"Paul's sister? Have you ever met her before?" I never heard Paul had a sister, I just thought it was him.

"He doesn't like talking about her because she's a blood- I mean a vampire, she got turned not so long ago but he got told she was dead until she contacted him one day and BAM now he has a sister."

"Right." I murmured, the story sounded familiar but I didn't know where from.

We pulled up at the camp fire and greeted everyone waiting for Paul's sister, then I saw a very familiar car pull up and a tiny pixie dressed in jeans and her favourite snorg tee get out and run to us.

"Phoebe, what are you doing here?!" I asked, I was sure he had put her up to this probably.

"I'm here to see my Brother." She giggled walking over to Paul.

"Paul's your brother?" I nearly fainted, how could she not tell me.

"I didn't know you knew any werewolves. So I didn't bother telling you since all vampires and werewolves are meant to be rivals."

"Yeah you got that right." Jake wrapped his arm round my waist as I nudged him hard in the ribs.

Later when we all had told our stories and caught up with each other, we all split up into different conversations.

"So Have you imprinted on anyone yet?" He must have found someone by now.

"Yeah. Yeah I have." He smiled at me as he said it.

"Well are you going to tell me who the lucky girl is and when am I going to meet her." I was glad that he had found someone to share his life with now.

"Well she's not only my imprint, she's my best friend and the thing is she doesn't exactly know it yet." He flashed me another smile, who could it possibly be.

"Well when are you gonna tell her?"

"Right now." Before I could move Jakes lips pressed down on mine in a soft warm way, not like his in any way possible. I was going to pull away but it felt good and I haven't felt this feeling in so long, I was lapping it up in joy. Even if there was no spark there I had to let him have this.

"Are you been serious?" I asked surprised.

"Defiantly." He smiled back at me.

"Jake, I'm happy and everything that it's me but I can't be having any other relationships, not now, not yet, its just too early for me to be involved with anyone else yet. But we can still be best friends yeah?" He smile dropped and then slowly rose as I said Yet.

"Yeah, I guess we could." He held my hand tightly as he gazed into the fire.

The night ended all too quickly after that. Jake offered me a ride home but I had to decline as Phoebe was going to the same place so she had asked me first.

We parted and I told Jake I'd call him sometime this week so we could meet up again.

As we sat in the car Phoebe looked across at me.

"You and Jake are --- close aren't you?" I could see where she was getting at, everyone asked us that.

"Yeah, you could say that, he's the one who helped me through rough times and he's been there since I was a human little girl so of course were close." I explained.

"Do you know what Imprint means?" I couldn't believe she had just asked me that.

"Yeah of course I do and I also know Jake's imprinted on me, but its alright we've sorted it out." Phoebe shook her head.

"It's all gonna be ok, calm down and don't tell anyone please." I asked Phoebe, she nodded her head as I got a text ;

_Miss you already _

_Jake _

_x ~ x ~ x~ x _


	22. What Hurts The Most

**Okay so it's been just under a month: so I've been ill and I've had a lot more homework since I am now in year nine and the next two years are very important so sorry if I don't update also with New Moon coming out that's completely destracted me as well (seen it 3 times already!)**

**Shout out to EverlastingPixie19997 for sticking with me even though I have been AWOL! **

**Also Because it's nearly Christmas I'm Going to give you a special Christmas Gift In the Next Couple of Chapters.**

**BPOV**

We pulled up outside the Cullen's house, I didn't even know where I would be staying and which room would be mine but that was probably all sorted out by now if Alice was in charge, which she probably was.

As soon as we walked into the house Alice pounced on us giving us both tight hugs.

"Are you alright? What Happened? Why are you back so late? Why aren't you answering my questions, OMG something must have happened? What tell me, what?" If I had to describe a paranoid mother Alice would be it at times.

I stood bewildered in the doorway, Phoebe behind Me as all the questions raced round my head.

"Calm down Alice, your answers are yes, we had fun, it's only eleven and you didn't let me answer until now and nothing happened like I said before." I rushed out before she could ask anything else.

"Told you there was nothing to worry about." Emmett's low voice boomed in a chuckle from the front room.

As we passed the stairs I could hear low, sharp whispers.

"What's going on upstairs?" I looked at Emmett.

"What's what - oh that, its Edward and Izzy, they've been arguing since we left school, but at least there KEEPING IT ON THE DOWNLOW!" The whispering stopped then started again and I heard them hiss my name.

I sat on the sofa for a bit watching Emmett play video games then when he got a new high score jumping around the room, making the whole room shake. After a while I was too fidgety to sit still long enough to get comfy.

"Emmett is the piano still in the old hall?"  
"Yeah – but why would –" I ran vampire speed past several different rooms and through an extension until I reached the old hall at the back of the house. I could already imagine my fingers gliding over the keys as I sat on the buffet. My fingers tinkled and played with the keys while my other hand was able to play chords as I played the melody the lyrics just flowed like I had played this repeatedly not just for the first time.

_You fingertips across my skin_

_The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_Images_

_You sang me Spanish lullabies_

_The sweetest sadness in your eyes_

_Clever trick_

_I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do_

_We walked along a crowded street_

_You took my hand and danced with me_

_Images_

_And when you left you kissed my lips_

_You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no_

_I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do_

_I cannot go to the ocean_

_I cannot drive the streets at night_

_I cannot wake up in the morning_

_Without you on my mind_

_So you're gone and I'm haunted_

_And I bet you are just fine_

_Did I make it that easy for you_

_To walk right in and out of my life?_

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_I should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do_

As I came to the end of the song. I looked up too see eight pairs of eyes gawking at me.

"You made that up on the spot?" Esme asked clapping her hands together like I was her daughter taking her first steps.

I nodded.

"Wow." Emmett breathed as Jasper and Rosalie's mouths dropped open.

"Edward Doesn't even do that." Alice smiled glancing a look at Edward who was staring at the floor. He met my eyes for only a second and gave me a soft smile.

I felt a pang in my heart as I watched his sadness and he melted away from the group. I couldn't hold it in any longer as dry sobs racked my body.

"Bella, Bella. Are you Okay?" I heard as Alice caught me in her waiting arms.

I held my chest and torso as my breathes drew shorter and sharper until my chest was so tight that if it was necessary for my to breathe I would have been dead by now.

I knew I had to relax so I let my body go limp and darkness washed over me.

"OMG Alice this is al my fault." Edwards worried voice drifted from the doorway.

"How? Edward you can't keep blaming yourself. She'll get over it."

Alice smoothed my arm up and down soothing me.

"Me, been here it's making her like this." I could hear as he sat down by my side along with Alice.

APOV

"Edward you can't think like that, were your family as well as hers." I already knew what he was going to say but it was worth the try.

"So you think it's a coincidence that every time she sees me she breaks down, even I know that's a wide shot. So Alice I don't think it's my fault, I know it's my fault."

He growled out the last bit, I had, had enough of all his moping about and so did everyone else.

"Well don't worry then, you'll be out of here before long." I spat out more harshly than intended.

In only two weeks he and Izzy would be living with Izzy in either Alaska or Seattle (the further the better) a 'Happily' married couple, getting on with their own lives.

"I don't want to think about that, not yet." Edward stalked out the room.

"YOU HAVE TO THINK OF IT SOMETIME EDWARD!" I yelled after him.

I turned to Bella.

"Now Bella, What has my stupid brother do to you this time?"

Bella's eyes fluttered open.

"It's not him, its me just overreacting." She sighed rubbing her forehead before getting up.

"Where do you think your going?"

"Come on Alice, I need a shower, I mean Look at me!" Bella was right, her eyes were dark, her hair knotted up and clothes crumpled.

BPOV

I plodded upstairs, running my fingers through the matted knots.

I was heading to the bathroom to get a shower when I saw Edwards door left a little open on the floor there was a piece of paper and a little black box. I couldn't hear or smell anyone so I sneaked into the room, scooped up the items and headed for the bathroom leaving the door a jar a little.

I sat by the side of the bath while I read the note:

_Happy 18__th__ Birthday Bella, My angel, My Love._

_Edward _

_x – x –x –x _

I flipped open the little black box which held the most breathtakingly beautiful ring I have ever seen in my whole existence. On the top inside cover read:

_My Heart Belongs to you and only you x _ (oh how I wish that was true)

On the little golden band going round the ring read:

Edward 3 Bella

_I love you forever and always._

_You are my life now._

My hand flew to my mouth as the note and box tumbled gently to the ground.

I turned the shower on and climbed in. My clothes stuck to me. I had officially turned crazy as I got a last glimpse of the items I slunk to the floor of the bath, holding myself together when two arms snaked round me sending electric bolts up my arms. He rocked us both back and forth, back and forth.

"What have I done to you?" Edward Whispered into my hair, kissing the top of my head and right then I knew I couldn't keep him. I knew if I loved him enough I would be able to let him go and I've never hurt more but then all the pain I never knew in the world came into me. And that's what hurt the most.


	23. Work This Out

I told you, you would get an extra surprise (this is not Christmas special, the next chapter is.) So because you have stuck by me even though I'm a terrible updater here is chapter 2 of the day!

A week had passed since my last breakdown, me and Edward never talked about it, he had helped me out of the shower and made sure I had some dry clothes to change into, only looking in my eyes once and even then I couldn't bear it, looking away quickly.

Nobody talks about the wedding, at least not when I was there but I already know they have made the plans and sorted every thing out and I was some what thankful they had spared me the details.

It's been quite and it feels like the tiny fragments of my heart that are left are getting cracked, ready to be wrenched out and then when they're gone (in a week) I will leave and let them continue there lives in peace.

"Bella, do you want to come hunt with me? Nobody else can because of the stupid wedding practise – I mean, …" Phoebe lightly tapped on my door.

"It's okay. But Phoebe." I murmured giving her a warning look, what was the point; I wouldn't need to hunt anymore.

"Bella, Come on, you've been stuck here for the past week, you need to do something, anything." Phoebe pleaded with me settling on the edge of my bed as I flipped open my phone. I had over 74 texts and 54 missed calls all from – Jake. I am such a bad friend I can't believe I forgot Jake, the one (well one of two people) I needed right now, to wrap his arms around me and tell me I was going to be alright.

"Where's Alice?" I asked Phoebe while she looked amazed, as I had stretched out of my foetal position.

"Yeah, I know I moved. Amazing, Let's celebrate. After I find Alice." I began to get impatient.

"Edward's study. But Bella." I turned around already annoyed it took so long to tell me where Alice was.

She must have registered my look.

"Nothing."

As I walked down to the study I could hear Alice from inside.

"Alice I'm going down to La –" Edward stood in front of me in a black and white tux looking just as confused as I was as I caught Alice sneaking out the window locking it so when I turned to the door that was locked to. They left me alone with Edward.

We both stared at each other wide-eyed in alarm. I didn't know what to do so I slumped down at the side of the couch.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know she would do that. She knows what could happen but still –" Edward babbled.

"It's not your fault." I took my first look at Edward's study. There was a desk with a lamp and laptop, books, couch, a full length mirror, plasma TV with DVD and CD's piled everywhere but this is not what confused me, the things that confused me was there was pictures. Not just pictures but photo's of me and his family or me and him or some just of me – most I never knew he had took.

"When did you take this one?" I pointed at a picture of me posing wearing a blue blouse and some black skinny jeans.

Edward rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Alice took it for me, at one of your shopping trips." He looked at me probably predicting my reaction.

"Oh yeah that was the one Alice nearly got arrested because she wouldn't leave the store when it closed then I thought I broke my hand so I told you to take me to Carlisle…" We both laughed at the memory.

"Yeah I remember because all you needed was some ice." Edward chuckled.

I saw a book of some sort poke out of the sofa as I got closer it looked like a journal or scrapbook.

"Can I have a look?" I fingered the cover softly.

"It's Kind of embarrassing." He ducked his head and I knew if he was human he would of blushed right then.

"That's okay. I won't tell." I giggled softly as I opened the front cover were there was a big hand drawn sketch of me above it a neat print:

Isabella Marie Swan

I flipped over to the next page where they're was another picture of me in a silk flowing night gown then another of me on Edward's back in the ocean at one of the Cullen's many private beaches.

"Oh, You didn't - you!" Edward looked at me confused. I showed him me in a nightgown.

"Oh I couldn't resist." He chuckled, stepping closer towards me but the closeness sent electricity flow in between the space. Edward must have felt it to because he had his hand on my waist ready to pull me into him. As he was about to kiss me I remembered I had to let him go so I ducked my head into his chest.

"Oh I'm sorry." He let go of me and stepped back a little.

"It's just, you know." I whispered.

"I know; I shouldn't have." He stated calmly.

I put down the book and smoothed out the cover.

"Can you tell Alice I've gone to see Jake, please?"

"Yeah sure but how were you planning on getting out of here, Esme would be upset if you broke down one of her doors."

I walked over to the window and fiddled with the lock as I slid it open and swung my legs over the side.

"I know how to pick locks." I giggled as I jumped and began running to La Push.


	24. Packing and Notes Passing

Hey, Xmas special is nearing here!  
Thank you for standing by me even though I don't deserve it because I hardly update and I'm so sorry about that lately I've just been so super busy with everything!

Miss Bella Cullen18

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

BPOV

As I made my way across the Cullen's over-sized lawn, I could still feel Edward's eyes follow my movement, then as I was turning around I heard Phoebe and Alice giggle then high five each other.

When I was nearing the woods I flung myself into a vampire sprint until I was coming closer to the boundary line, in which I slowed to a light human-paced jog. I was only 2 miles off the border so I began to ponder and think.

Think about everything that's happened ever in my life right up until this very moment, what I would do next, where I would go.

I was so caught up in thought the next thing I saw was Jacob racing out of the woods in human form.

"Bella!" He gave me a snug hug and wrapped his arm around my neck.

"Hey Jake, I missed you." I sighed as I snuggled into the crook of his arm.

" I missed you, where've you been for like 5 months!" He chuckled.

"Jake it's been two weeks, although I know how it feels so much longer. I just needed to get away from some complications."

"So, you and Cullen are having problems then what's the crisis, this time leech doesn't like me hanging round with you." I flinched and Jake felt it as my chest heaved up and I held in the sobs.

"I'm so sorry Bella. What did I say?" I began shaking hard.

"It's just ---- Nothing, it doesn't matter, me been stupid, it's all stupid." I mumbled, he lifted my chin up to face him.

"Bella, it's not stupid, if it's hurting you." I started shaking again.

"You know you and him, have more in common then you both realise." He released me at once.

"I'm nothing like him, I would never hurt you in that way Bella." _I wish I could say the same for me not hurting you either. _

"Jake, I'm so sorry." He looked down at me confused so I continued. "I'm sorry for hurting you, before and now."

"What do you mean now, where are you going Bella, your not leaving with them are you? Please don't! I know you chose him, but I'm your best friend, you can't just leave me!" He panicked grabbing hold of me tighter.

"I'm not leaving with them Jake. I'm just going for a while." I didn't actually have any plans.

"Please don't leave me Bella, you can't." Tears threatened to pour out his eyes and he blinked them back I stroked his face.

"Jake, I'll be back, I promise, but I have to go I have to get away from here, from everything and I came to say goodbye."

"I won't let you leave." He stated.

"How are you going to stop me Jake, I'm sorry, so sorry but I'm hurting too and I have to get away before I hurt myself or others worse, it will be only for a short time. Jake, I really am truly sorry." I shot out of his grasp to stop by a tree near the outskirts of the woods.

"Love you Jacob."

Then I ran, I heard paws pounding close behind me but I crossed the border and I looked back, I have never seen Jake in so much pain before as he slunk back into the woods.

I ran back to the Cullen's house to see Alice stomping out the house.

APOV

I just had a vision of Bella running away from here, I had to stop her. We only just got her back and here she is trying to get away again.

I heard Bella running from 3 miles away.

I stomped outside while she raced up the path.

"How Can You!" I screamed. She flinched.

"I have to Alice, I have to." She ducked her head out of sight and carried on walking.  
"You don't, you don't have to leave. Not now"  
"Now is the best time to leave Alice." Her voice broke a little.

"Why?" They was a long silence as she paused halfway up the step and turned around pacing slowly towards me.

"Because if I don't leave now it will be harder to leave after and I've already been broken once before I don't think I could last another beating." Then she looked up at a window while racing into the house, violent sobs shook her frame.

BPOV

"Because if I don't leave now it will be harder to leave after and I've already been broken once before I don't think I could last another beating." I glanced up to Edward's window, trust him to have heard all that and seen it too. I raced up into the steps I had to make a move tonight otherwise I would be trapped here.

I slammed my door shut almost breaking off the frame then flung myself on my floor. How could this be happening to me? How could my life of just any more worst then it was? I sat like that until several taps came from the other side of my door.

"Bella." The angel voice called.

"Bella, please let me in." he soothed.

"I can't, I really can't." I croaked in nothing more then a vampire whisper.

I heard whispers from outside my door and then several light taps at my window, I spun round to see Phoebe.

"You're leaving me then?" She sighed.

" You can come if you want." I shrugged, dragging a suitcase from my closet.

" I don't want to be part of the Volutori." She shuffled her way through the open window and closed it again.

"And neither do you, not really." She shook her head.

"I know, but really what else can I do? You don't want me to die but I can't stay so the ONLY option is to go to them and thanks to you and Alice I see they have already agreed my visit." I continued shoving things into my suitcase.

"But they won't be family."  
"Then I guess that's what I have to sacrifice." I had already had one suitcase packed and pulled out another when a piece of paper slid under my door.

_Please don't go. _

It had neatly printed on it.

I grabbed a pen and wrote back.

_I HAVE to, other wise I wouldn't._

Another note was shoved through my door shortly after.

_It's because of me._

I couldn't deny that was the reason.

_I'm leaving tonight about 11pm. _

_Sorry but I can't stay here._

I scribbled my last note as I finished the last bits of packing and grabbed my guitar, well I had some time to Waste.


	25. Leaving So Soon

**Ok so fine I'll admit I'm officially the worse person ever. I am so sorry I don't update enough but now I should be able to since I have got weeks holiday (not long enough).**

**Okay so I know its valentines day but this is a sad chapter so be prepared! **

**BPOV**

11pm came faster than I thought it would as I hauled my suitcases and guitar case downstairs.

'Your really leaving us then.' Phoebe whispered. I nodded and shuffled over to her for a hug.

'You can come back whenever you want Bella, you know you'll always be welcome here.' I moved into Esme and Carlisle's open arms. I nodded once again taking in the sight of Esme dry sobbing on Carlisle's shoulder.

'Do you really have to go Bella, who's going to help me kick Jasper's butt at Guitar Hero or annoy Edward with me?' I shrugged and gave him a big hug and the same with Rosalie, If I could of I would of cried.

I stood back and took in the view, perfect family. They all belonged together, even Phoebe was part of the family now, but no matter how much I felt part of them too I knew I would never truly be able to and staying around to see someone get everything I wanted would snap me like a twig.

Alice ran forward and scooped me into one of her hugs.'Bella, you're my best friend, do you have to go?'

'Yes I have to, but I will see you again, I promise.'

Then she relunclently letting go to sob into Jaspers' shoulder.

I took one last step back to admire the family that would never be mine, They're was only one person missing.

'Before I go, Give this to him please but tell him to listen to it only on the morning of the ceremony along with this letter. And tell him sorry I can't stay.' I pulled out a C.D and a letter and handed them to Carlisle, that way I'd know he'll get them when he should.

'I'm sure he'll understand.' he nodded his head at me.

'I'll come visit soon. I promise.' I whispered loud enough so everyone would be able to hear.

I turned and headed for the door.

Next stop Italy


	26. Christmas When You Were Mine

OMG I bet your saying that I mean I never update once let alone twice---- IN ONE DAY it's a miracle ohm maybe Edward will marry me after all, nope I have decided that today I will treat you because at the end I have a surprise for you!!EPOV

'**Edward before you go I'd like to give you this.' Carlisle placed a CD and envelope in my hand that had EDWARD CULLEN printed on it.**

'**Carlisle, I'm sure your meant to be giving a speech not giving me these.' I went to go put them in my jacket pocket when he stopped me.**

'**There from her, I promised I would give them to you after she left.' I gave him a confused look and made my way to my room.**

**I pressed play on the CD Player. It was silent until a soft guitar sound strummed in the background and I opened the letter.**

_**Edward,**_

_**Before you read this I want you to know I forgive you for everything you may think is your fault and not to worry about me from now on for any reason I don't want to ruin your day.**_

_**First I'll explain the CD, the CD is the songs I have wrote and I wanted you to be the first to hear them.**_

**I stopped reading to hear her soft voice sing: **

_**and you feel so low,**_

_**You can't feel nothing at all.**_

**I looked back down to the page.**

_**I would like to apologise for not staying for you, but I guess you can see why I can't. I would also like to apologise for not saying goodbye to you or Isabel and to all your family members, especially Alice and Phoebe. It's not your fault, it never was it has and will always be mine.**_

_**I hope you have a wonderful day and don't let me spoil it, that would be the last thing I would want.**_

_**So in your own words,It will be like I never existed.**_

_**Isabella Marie Swan **_

_**x **_

**I folded the letter an placed it in my back pocket, the words burning through me, paralysing me, trapping me in my own prison.**

**Half an hour later I was still trapped but I could see the surface was near. I focused on the song, her angel voice, helping me out of my web of nothingness. **

_**Please take down the misletoe**_

_**Cause I don't wanna think about that right now**_

_**Cause everything I want is miles away**_

_**In a snow covered little town**_

_**My momma's in the kitchen, worrying about me**_

_**Season's greetings, hope you're well**_

_**Well I'm doing alright**_

_**If you were wondering**_

_**Lately I can never tell**_

_**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time**_

_**But there were Christmases when you were mine**_

_**I've been doing fine without you, really**_

_**Up until the nights got cold**_

_**And everybody's here, except you, baby**_

_**Seems like everyone's got someone to hold**_

_**But for me it's just a lonely time**_

_**Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**_

_**Merry Christmas everybody**_

_**That'll have to be something I just say this year**_

_**I'll bet you got your mom another sweater**_

_**And were your cousins late again**_

_**When you were putting up the lights this year**_

_**Did you notice one less pair of hands**_

_**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time**_

_**But there were Christmases when I didn't wonder how you are tonight**_

_**Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**_

_**You were mine. **_

**The lyrics twisted through my head and the letter stung in my pocket.**

'**Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, Do you take Isabella Charlotte Emily Swansea to be your Lawful wedded wife?' **

**The Memories,**

**The words,**

**The dance,**

**The feel,**

**The kisses,**

**The caresses,**

**The embraces,**

**The Nights.**

'**I ------' **

**OK so there you go Edwards getting married and Bella's nowhere in sight.**

**Now here is the surprise!!!**

**I'm done with this story ………………… Finished…….. No More……………………………….......................................BUT………………………………..............................………………………………......................**

**I think its time for the sequel so keep checking back here for more information on the sequel of FINDING MY WAY BACK TO YOU!!**


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